Soul Kadee

Ever had someone ask you for something that you knew you could not afford to give, but were unable to say no? And did it not leave you feeling used, overwhelmed, resentful, taken for granted?

It’s happened to me more often than I care to remember, and it happens to all of us, in business and in relationships.

It’s especially difficult to deny the one you love, even when your head is screaming that it’s not the right thing for you. So we end up blaming the other person for asking, for being demanding, for expecting too much.

Even if they did all that, even if they did ask for more than their due, you need to understand one fact. . .

No one can make you feel used unless you give them the permission to do so. Becoming aware of your role in the process can help you leave the feelings of resentment behind.

As women, we are especially vulnerable to being taken for granted, because we’re conditioned to be the nurturers and givers in a relationship, and often end up giving more than we have the capacity to.

Saying no takes courage, especially when you’re vulnerable. But learning to set your limits can save you a whole lot of grief when the situation demands it.

Defining your boundaries €œ deciding what is and is not acceptable to you, and adhering to that - is one of the most important life skills you can learn. Individuals who’ve been abused often lack this skill. But, as with all life skills, it’s something that can be acquired.

You’ll find some good advice on setting boundaries at the links below.

When and How to Say No!

A very good article on Boundaries

What Are Boundaries and Why are They Important?

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