Soul Kadee

Having been brought up with romantic notions of togetherness, its often very hard for women, in particular, to get used to being single again.

If you’re newly single, surviving a relationship breakup, divorce, widowed, Ann Harrison, who moderates the Single Again Club has some great advice for single women wanting to start a new relationship.

I always advise my clients to take at least a year out to get to know themselves properly and find out what they are like without a man in their life. I find that the ones that really ‘get their act together’ as a single, start to enjoy being and living by themselves and would only consider giving up that freedom for someone very very special indeed, are the ones that make the best choices… If only more women would discover that you don’t need a man on your arm to feel good about yourself.

She’s right, you know. But first you have to change the way you think - that you are incomplete without a partner.

As Ann writes in her book, Successfully Single! 101 Ways To Love Being Single Again, many of us put our lives on hold waiting to meet our perfect life partner. In the process, we miss out on many opportunities to enrich ourselves and our lives.

I believe that if you choose to live a full, busy and fulfilling life, you won’t have time to THINK of spending your time trying to find a partner. And believe me, when you’re complete and happy by yourself, you’ll attract that special person into your life.

In the meantime, here are some of my own suggestions for learning to love being by yourself.

1. Catch up on some good books that you haven’t had time to read earlier.

2. Learn a new skill, learn to play an instrument, or join a class for dance/salsa/yoga (or anything you thing you’d enjoy).

3. Spend time with your girlfriends doing fun girlie things.

4. Take a vacation with a tour group where you can meet other people.

5. Network with people with similar interests and participate in activities you enjoy.

6. Work harder and make pots of money so you can treat yourself to that extravagant vacation you always wanted.

7. Take up a sport or group activity that will help you make friends.

8. Join an NGO or charity and volunteer to spend time with those less fortunate than you. Taking your mind off your own needs and making a difference to society can often be the most fulfilling way to spend your time.

9. If you’re a woman, join my Single and Loving It! network on Ryze.

It truly helps if you look at your single status as an invitation, from life, to follow your dreams.

As a good friend of mine told me, we come into this world alone, and we go alone.

Carpe Diem. Seize the Day.

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