Soul Kadee

I just read this post about Cuddle Parties on Robin Sharma’s blog and I completely agree with his observation that people nowadays seem to have lost sight of the importance of human touch.

Building an internet busines can be a lonely task, and there was a point in my life when I felt the lack of human contact severely. But I made up for it by becoming the cuddliest mom to my daughter.

I used to cuddle and kiss her so much that she’d get irritated with me, but I figured what the hell, in a few years she’ll be doing that with her boyfriends and ignore her mommy. So I might as well get in as many hugs as I can right now

It’s times like these that make me glad I chose to work from home so we can spend our special “Mommy and Baby” time anytime during the day.

We have a little routine now. Our lazy mornings are time for us to snuggle in each others’ arms on our comfy couch, in front of the TV together.

We watch the silly antics of her favourite cartoon characters together and spend that time having breakfast, talking, laughing and bonding, until she has to get ready for school.

Once her school timings change, we’ll probably have to find some other time to do that. But who needs cuddle parties when I’ve got cuddle time with my little snugglebug?

Go hug your loved ones today…

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Since my husband passed away last year, I’ve been reading a lot of self-improvement literature to get me through my grief.

One of the best self-help books that I’ve read and use in my everyday life is Richard Carlson’s Shortcut through Therapy : Ten Principles of Growth-Oriented, Contented Living.

The reason I recommend everyone read this book (not just people going through therapy) is because we all have times in our lives when we feel lousy.

Richard Carlson shows us that happiness is a choice. You feel the way you do, happy or miserable, simply because you chose to feel that way.

That’s so true! And sometimes the most profound changes are the simplest to make…

Y’know, shit happens to everyone. But how you let it affect you depends completely on your own interpretation of the facts.

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Having been brought up with romantic notions of togetherness, its often very hard for women, in particular, to get used to being single again.

If you’re newly single, surviving a relationship breakup, divorce, widowed, Ann Harrison, who moderates the Single Again Club has some great advice for single women wanting to start a new relationship.

I always advise my clients to take at least a year out to get to know themselves properly and find out what they are like without a man in their life. I find that the ones that really ‘get their act together’ as a single, start to enjoy being and living by themselves and would only consider giving up that freedom for someone very very special indeed, are the ones that make the best choices… If only more women would discover that you don’t need a man on your arm to feel good about yourself.

She’s right, you know. But first you have to change the way you think - that you are incomplete without a partner.

As Ann writes in her book, Successfully Single! 101 Ways To Love Being Single Again, many of us put our lives on hold waiting to meet our perfect life partner. In the process, we miss out on many opportunities to enrich ourselves and our lives.

I believe that if you choose to live a full, busy and fulfilling life, you won’t have time to THINK of spending your time trying to find a partner. And believe me, when you’re complete and happy by yourself, you’ll attract that special person into your life.

In the meantime, here are some of my own suggestions for learning to love being by yourself.

1. Catch up on some good books that you haven’t had time to read earlier.

2. Learn a new skill, learn to play an instrument, or join a class for dance/salsa/yoga (or anything you thing you’d enjoy).

3. Spend time with your girlfriends doing fun girlie things.

4. Take a vacation with a tour group where you can meet other people.

5. Network with people with similar interests and participate in activities you enjoy.

6. Work harder and make pots of money so you can treat yourself to that extravagant vacation you always wanted.

7. Take up a sport or group activity that will help you make friends.

8. Join an NGO or charity and volunteer to spend time with those less fortunate than you. Taking your mind off your own needs and making a difference to society can often be the most fulfilling way to spend your time.

9. If you’re a woman, join my Single and Loving It! network on Ryze.

It truly helps if you look at your single status as an invitation, from life, to follow your dreams.

As a good friend of mine told me, we come into this world alone, and we go alone.

Carpe Diem. Seize the Day.

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We always knew it, but now there’s scientific evidence to show why men are often reduced to blubbering idiots at the sight of a pretty face.

Psychologists in Canada have finally proved what women have long suspected - men really are irrational enough to risk entire kingdoms to catch sight of a beautiful face. Margo Wilson and Martin Daly of McMaster University in Hamilton, Canada decided to investigate discounting behaviour and see if it varied with sexual mood.

When male students were shown pictures of pretty women, they made irrational decisions. Women, on the other hand, suffered no such handicap.

Now we know why all the wars are started by men… usually over women.

Via Mind Power News

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When I read about Tom Cruise convincing Katie Holmes to give up her friends and take up Scientology, I felt sick.

Sure, she’s had a crush on him since she was a kid, but its a BAD idea to give up your individuality when you’re married.

And you should always have your OWN friends. People who can be there for you when times are bad.

Why are we women so damn accomodating and willing to please our man? We’re willing to give up our own needs, our dreams, our personality, when we become a “couple.” Its pathetic!!

And I feel sorry for Katie Holmes, cause she’s walking into a nightmare. What happens to her when the marriage falls apart (and believe me, it will, once Katie wakes up from her fairy tale romance)? Whose she gonna have to fall back on?

Here’s what some are saying:

Putting your life and your values on hold for your dream man is going too far, thinks Hilary Freeman, an agony aunt for Cosmo Girl and an expert on love’s young dream.

Here’s what I say: Get real, girl, and listen to what the rest of the world is telling you.

Love (and marriage) should free you, empower you to be yourself, give you wings to fly - not force you to become a shadow of your man.

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After a hard day building a dotcom business and playing mom to a hyperactive 6-year old, here are some of my favourite stressbusters (in no particular order of preference) - and no, I won’t mention the obvious one here .

1. Norah Jones/The Eagles/Bread/The Carpenters/Willie Nelson on the stereo

2. A long, hot, relaxing shower

3. Pampering my skin

4. Watching reruns of Friends snuggled in his arms

5. A romantic dinner and a good movie

6. Reading a bed-time story to my girl before putting her to bed

7. Watching my little girl asleep in my arms (don’t they all look like angels when asleep )

8. Snuggling up with a good book or meditation audios

9. A hot cup of ginger tea on a chilly winter evening

10. Watching a beautiful sunset on the beach

11. Dancing to Latin beats (Enrique, JLo, Ricky Martin, Santana…) and Salsa Theme Nights

12. After Eights. Yum! (you didn’t really think I’d leave out chocolate, did you?)

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If you don’t love yourself, how can you love someone else, or give them what they need in a relationship?

For those women who think that marriage will protect them from loneliness, just check out the number of married people (men and women) on any online dating site.

Married people can be even lonelier than singles for the simple fact that they have no one else to turn to (unless they take the trouble to nurture their own lives and friends) when things get rough.

Women especially, tend to look to their partner to provide them with the self-esteem they lack. BIG mistake!

Unless you’re a whole, complete person with a well-developed sense of self-esteem, you’re not going to be happy, whether you’re single or married. And that’s the truth!

Resources
The Complete Self-Esteem Workbook
Self-Improvement Resources

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I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately, and I’m much happier and contented because of a few truths that a wonderful teacher and guide (and a few good books) have taught me. Here are some of them:

The less you expect from others, the more content you’ll be.

The only person you should expect anything from is yourself.

Your thoughts are just that - thoughts. They are not real. Only your thinking makes them so.

Only YOU are responsible for what you think and feel. No one can make you feel bad unless you let them (the operative word being YOU).

Never react or speak when you are not in the best frame of mind. That’s the time when your inner wisdom is at its lowest ebb. You’ll almost always make the wrong decision.

Count your blessings. Be grateful for what you have everyday. Focus on what you have, not what you don’t have.

Focus on the positives. Forget the negatives.

Sounds pithy? Believe me, it works!

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