Soul Kadee

When Mahatma Gandhi gave us his philosophy of non-violence, or ahimsa, I believe he was preaching the highest form of self-love.

Self-love not only means accepting myself the way I am, warts and all. It also means never tolerating anything - even from myself - that harms or disempowers me in any way.

In the things that I will not tolerate, I include violence. It’s easy to perceive violence from an external source. It’s much harder to detect the internal violence we wreak on ourselves all the time.

We harm ourselves everyday by tolerating -

• The negative thoughts we think
• The unhealthy diet and lifestyle we live
• The limiting beliefs we harbour
• The unethical actions we take

To me, ahimsa means loving and respecting myself so that I accept nothing less than being my best self.

Every time I give in to my fears, cheat on my diet, tell a lie, lose faith in myself, blame and judge myself, or do anything to harm my body or mind, I am hurting myself.

Every time I allow myself to be less than I am capable of being, I am committing an act of violence on myself.

It’s not easy, as Gandhi himself noted, for us human beings to be our best selves all the time. And by being my best self, I don’t mean being perfect. I’m only human, after all.

The important thing is to be aware of my goal at all times. To pick myself up, correct my course and continue on my way every time I take a fall.

Non-violence applies not only to actions that affect others, but also to those that affect me.

It means I will only put into my mouth foods that nurture my body, only harbour thoughts that nurture my mind, only be in a relationship that nurtures my emotions.

It also includes rising above my fears and giving up excuses about why I can’t reach my highest goals of physical, emotional and spiritual mastery.

If it seems like a stretch of the imagination to equate self-mastery with non-violence, remember that when you truly love yourself, you won’t tolerate anything that will harm you.

Don’t use ahimsa as a noun, but as a verb. It’s a process and a way of life that requires a lot of self-discipline. But I believe it’s worth it.

Because the philosophy of ahimsa, when applied to myself, is the greatest form of self-love there is.

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A few days ago, I celebrated my birthday with my former classmates, some of whom I hadn’t seen in over 13 years.

It was fun being together, and we were able to share the things we’d learned over the years. I was especially glad for the way I’ve worked on changing my attitude.

I’d always been a very positive person. That is, until life gave me a free pass to the school of hard knocks. I had a lot of growing up to do, I guess.

But as I grew and read a lot of self-help literature, I learned that we see life not as IT IS, but as WE ARE.

We see life through our own filters, our interpretations. The meanings we give the events that shape our life are coloured by our beliefs and attitude.

If you see only problems and unhappiness, if you look at others and see only their faults, it’s because your life is a reflection of your thoughts and your attitude. It’s the Law of Subjective Reality at work.

A fish in a bowl cannot change its view of the watery world it lives in. But humans have a choice. We can decide to see the world the way we prefer. We can give life events any meaning we choose.

Give it a positive interpretation and you create a positive attitude. On the other hand, a negative interpretation disempowers you and attracts more negativity.

The key to dealing with our problems is to see them as an opportunity for growth. To use our life experiences to evolve into a better and stronger person.

As David Brinkley once said, A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.

Life by itself is meaningless. We give it the meaning we choose. So why not make a conscious choice to interpret your life events in a way that empowers you?

Create your own reality.

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I love the Spiderman flicks. And not just because I think Tobey McGuire is sexy.

I love the way the emotional conflict of the action hero came through in the movies. The battle between doing what he wanted and what was expected of him.

For me, one of the defining moments of Spiderman 2 was where Spidey gets sick of not having a life of his own.

When his crisis makes him lose his faith, purpose and, then his superpowers, he realises that he does have a choice. That he can be anything he chooses to be.

So Spidey gives up the swinging life of a superhero to be a regular guy. He starts his new life with a spring in his step (and the song from Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid playing in the background), but is powerless to stop injustice.

Although he goes back to saving the city €œ and his girl €œ he now does it of his own volition - not because he feels that its his duty, his responsibility, to use the powers he’s been given to serve others.

Did you notice the distinction there? Duty is a disempowering emotion. Choice empowers you.

Making that distinction - knowing the difference between Duty and Choice - defines the life you create for yourself.

Between being what your family, society or even you, expect of yourself, and becoming the person you’ve always imagined yourself to be.

And the truth is, when it comes to living the life you were meant to live, you ALWAYS have a choice!

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