Soul Kadee

I was just reading a post on Robin Sharma’s blog about how despondent he was when his bestseller, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, got a rejection letter, and how he didn’t let it keep him down.

But the paragraph that really caught my attention was this one:

Guess what I’ve done with the letter? No, I didn’t use it for the barbeque the kids and I did last night. I had it framed. Every day I’ll look at it. And when I do, I know I’ll remember one of the first principles of sustained success: only those who turn deaf ears to the chattering critics can get to their best.

I loved that part, because it reminded me of something I’ve been giving a lot of thought to recently. A few months ago, I got out of a relationship with a very negative person who could do little but judge and criticise everyone, including himself.

From time to time, I remind myself of that person and everything he represents. Why? Because he reminds me of certain characteristics that I NEVER want to emulate.

It reminds me of the movie, Elizabeth, directed by Shekar Kapur , where the “Virgin Queen” decides to keep her lover around instead of beheading him, so he can remind her of the mistake she must never again make.

Creating a painful association with the things you want to avoid, is a technique endorsed by self-help gurus like Tony Robbins, to create the leverage required for personal transformation.

I believe that the primary motivation in your life should be about creating positive and pleasurable experiences for yourself and others. It’s much more powerful to work towards pleasure than avoid pain.

But when you want to get rid of limiting beliefs and conditioning, extreme pain can often create the leverage you need to work towards what you do want to become.

If you find yourself slipping back into old ways of thinking and conditioning, it helps to remind yourself of the pain that caused you to create that transformation.

Pain can be a good thing as long as you don’t let it get you down. Use it to create leverage, and condition yourself to achieve the outcome you desire.

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It’s rather unusual for a former journalist to admit that she hardly ever watches the news on TV and - except for the comics and astrology sections - chooses not to read the newspapers.

The reason I do that, is because I’m more aware of what makes the news, and know that, with few exceptions, its worth ignoring.

First, the news is not fact. It’s reporting. And no matter how unbiased the reporter may be, the news is based on their interpretation of the facts.

Second, the news is not balanced. Journalists have a definition for news that says, “Dog bites man is not news. Man bites dog is news.” In other words, good news is not news. Bad news is.

It’s the reason why the media is filled with stories of terror, rape, violence and war, and we hear precious little about the good stuff, the positive messages and the loving things that people do.

It’s one of the reasons I consciously chose to work with alternative media, non-profit organisations and environmental groups, than take up a well-paying job in MSM (mainstream media).

It’s not like alternative media doesn’t have it’s share of negative news. It has plenty… environmental degradation, pollution, child abuse, you name it. The difference is that “alternative” media focuses on alternatives to the problem, and on people who are making a difference in the world.

The best clue for the priority that human-interest stories get in the MSM, is where they get shoved in a publication - usually to a tiny column on the inside pages. The bad news and the gossip get frontpaged. I mean, does anyone really care where the Brangelina brat is born?

Imagine what this diet of negativity does to your mind when you continue to absorb these messages day after day. You begin to believe that the world is a crazy place, filled with people who do weird or bizzare things.

I believe that our thoughts create our reality. And you can either let the media control your mind or you can take back control of your own thoughts. So I chose to avoid exposing my mind to the mass media.

But lets go a step further and imagine if tomorrow we woke up to a world where the media did the exact opposite of what it usually does, sends negative news to the back of the bulletin and puts only positive news on the first page.

Imagine if the media completely ignored hate-mongers like Pravin Togadia and Osama Bin Laden. These bigots feed off publicity generated by the mass media to fan their campaign of hate. The mass media actually makes heros of hate-mongers!

If they lost the advantage of free publicity, they’d lose importance and there would be little incentive to continue their campaign. Without the mass media, terrorists would be out of a job!

I think its even more important to be selective of what you let your children watch. TV programming is not as benign as it seems. Over a period of time, it can begin to shape your thoughts and reality.

Children are impressionable, hence even more vulnerable to negative programmming. According to a study published the journal Science, adolescents who watch more than one hour of television a day are more likely to engage in violent or aggressive acts later in life.

Researchers suggest that, at least during early adolescence, responsible parents should avoid permitting their children to watch more than one hour of television a day.

I agree. Parent should supervise, and sometimes screen out what they believe are inappropriate or negative messages.

I personally don’t even expose my daughter to Bollwood movies or those despicable saas-bahu soaps. I don’t mind her getting her dose of Disney, commercial though it is, but violence is a definite no-no in our household.

Media segmentation and the internet are a good thing for people who want to avoid the negativity in mass media. At least they allow us to actively select the sort of messages they want to imbibe.

Whatever a person’s mind dwells on
intensely and with firm resolve,
that is exactly what he becomes.

~ Shankaracharya ~

More reading:

Turning Bad News into Good News: A podcast by by motivational expert, Dr. Wayne Dyer

How To Watch TV News

Excessive TV-Watching During Adolescence May Lead to Violent Behavior in Adulthood

Study Finds Smoking in Movies Tied to Adolescent Tobacco Use

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Ever since I began redefining my life experiences in a more empowering way, I created a whole new vocabulary for myself.

I decided that I have no problems! Only challenges and opportunities for growth.

So now, instead of letting life’s little challenges upset my equilibrium, I look forward to them as opportunities for improving myself and the chance to reach a new level of personal growth.

When I encounter a person who, earlier, would have irritated me or got me mad, I can now ask myself, “What can I learn from this person? What have they been sent to teach me?”

A challenging situation now becomes an opportunity to grow and stretch myself.

I’m not perfect at this. I have a long way to go before I can achieve equanimity in all situations.

But, it’s amazing how eliminating a single word from my vocabulary can make a world of difference.

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A while ago, in my article titled “How To Attract The Mate Of Your Dreams” I wrote that to attract your ideal mate, you must change yourself to match that ideal.

Recently, I came across this beautiful article by Laura Silva Quesada, daughter of Jose Silva (whose home-study course on meditation I use everyday). She explains the same concept so beautifully, I just wanted to share it with you.

Here’s a quote from the article.

Likes attract. A negative, depressed, pessimistic, untidy, emotionally challenged person will more than likely attract a mirror reflection of him/herself.

Too often, people believe they can hide their “defects” forever from a Mr. or Ms. Perfect who is going to relieve them of their miseries, instead of working on every aspect of themselves to the point that they are happy with who and how they are fully and completely.

We often want our idea of the perfect partner to enter our lives and stay forever, yet we are not willing to do what it takes to be the “perfect” partner for someone else. We can prevent ourselves from painful experiences as well as the loss of precious time and energy if we begin by first working on ourselves.

Take some time to evaluate what you believe are the negative aspects of yourself and your life. Areas about yourself and your life where you lack love, respect and admiration? Take them one at a time, write them down and then write down a more positive outcome for each area and use that as a goal to manifest.

Read the complete article “Attracting your Soul Mate and More“.

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Ever since I started writing about my experience with mind power and spirituality, I’ve had people asking me how it has changed my life. These are the very people who have also tried their hands on mind power and it hasn’t seem to work for them.

So why does mind power work for some and not for others?

Here are some reasons:

1. The Power of Belief

“Whether you believe you can or can’t, you’re right.” - Henry Ford

What Henry Ford meant was that if you believe you can succeed, then you will. On the other hand, if you believe that you cannot succeed, then you can’t. And that’s really the crux of the issue.

Most people tried mind power tactics and tools half-heartedly. This really set them up for failure even before they begin. I can tell whether a person will succeed or not simply by the degree of faith and commitment he or she has. Most people just want to “try it”, so they don’t do it diligently and they give up after a short while. That just won’t do.

2. The Power of Commitment and Persistence

Results from mind power are not instantaneous. They take time to manifest from the formless realm of mind and thoughts into physical reality. In order to taste its fruits, you’ll have to work at it and give it time to manifest. It’s very much like planting a tree.

You start with a seed - whatever seed you choose to grow - and then you must water it, give it the nutrients and sunshine it needs, pull out all the weeds around it, and pretty soon it grows into a shoot and then into a tree. That takes time and commitment. Most people give up too easily.

3. The Power of Knowledge

It’s important to know what you’re doing, and whether you’re doing it right. So understanding the universal laws and how they work is of primary importance. In fact, if you fully understood the laws, you’ll have the faith to go with its applications.

For me, the understanding and the faith came after reading and researching for quite a while. It’s not enough reading just one or two books on mind power and assume you already know everything.

Every author has something new to share, a unique twist or an insight that is just right for you. So keep reading. I often get my best insights from little known authors, so don’t discount authors you haven’t heard of before.

For example, two years ago I have not even heard of Wallace D. Wattles, the author of “The Science of Getting Rich”, yet his books have already made quite an impact in society. There are really quite a number of very good but obscure authors out there, and with the Internet, it’s much easier to find them than before.

In the past, all these books would have been considered as occult knowledge, but in the age of the Internet, not anymore.

Finally, I continue to encourage you to pursue your dreams via cultivation of your mind. Once you’ve tasted its fruits, you’ll regard life as a play - a creative game where you DO have absolute control over. The degree of control you have over your own life is proportionate to the degree of control you have over your mind.

Dr. Tim Ong is a medical doctor who runs his own thriving medical practice. In his free time, he enjoys giving public talks, teaching meditation and offering his service to hospice work in the community. He also has keen interest in self improvement, mind science and spirituality. He recently launched his latest ebook entitled “From Fear to Love: A Spiritual Journey” at FromFeartoLove.com

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Today something happened that upset me a great deal, especially because it concerned a member of my family I was once close to.

I had to read my own article again and realise that I was not the one who needed help.

That and talking it over with a close friend who could lend me perspective, helped me pull through what could have been a very depressing day.

I feel great now! And I’m glad I could reach out for help when I needed it.

So I’m gonna look in the mirror and say, “Good for you, girl!” right before I turn out the lights tonight.

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Why do we feel unhappy or unfulfilled? Why do we complain, judge others or blame them for our problems? Usually, it’s because we feel that way about our self.

Our relationships and life experiences are a reflection of our inner world. How we see the world and interpret the actions of others depends on our relationship with our self.

To change your relationships with others, you’ve got to change your relationship with yourself.

Own your feelings

Accept that you alone are responsible for the way you think and feel. No one can make you feel that way. Own responsibility for allowing yourself to feel the way you do.

Be self-aware

Step back and observe yourself from a distance. How do you react to people and situations? Are you reacting unconsciously from the wounded child or responding in a calm, compassionate manner? When you’re conscious and aware of your feelings in a situation, you have the power to respond, rather than react.

Be authentic

Be true to yourself. There’s no need to put on a mask or a persona for someone else. You are perfect, whole and complete the way you are.

Love yourself unconditionally

Accept yourself for who you are, the parts you like, the parts you don’t. You’re part of divine creation. When you know and believe that, you will love and accept yourself the way you are.

Never belittle yourself

Never put yourself down or disrespect yourself. Don’t allow anyone else to treat you in a way that you don’t approve of. Never accept less than what you deserve - from yourself or anyone else.

Take care of yourself first

Remember the airline stewardess telling you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping the person next to you? You can’t take care of someone else, your family, or your kids, if you don’t take care of yourself first. Make yourself and your health a priority and do what it takes to get well, in every way.

Get in touch with your Higher Self

Your intuition is your Higher Self, the self that knows without knowing, sees without seeing. It is this self that will guide you towards your higher purpose. Any time you spend in meditation, prayer or solitude, cultivating your relationship with your higher self, will be time well spent.

Learn to connect with yourself at a deeper level, find your purpose, and understand your role in the universe. It will transform your relationship with yourself, and with everyone in your life.

More reading:

Books for Empowered Women

Articles on Personal Transformation by Barbara Rose. Ph.D.

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In the Celestine Prophecy, James Redfield writes about the “control dramas” that people use to draw energy from one another.

Think about it. Every time you interact with another person, there is a transaction of energy. Depending on the kind of interaction, you either feel energised or drained after it.

The reason why negative people tend to drain your energy is because they are operating from their ego.

The ego is all about, “I, me and myself.” It always wants more. More possessions, more wealth, more pride, more control, more energy…

When you operate from the ego, you tend to draw energy towards yourself, and away from the other person.

Every time you try to “be right”, every time you try to prove yourself superior to another person or dominate them, you are fighting a battle for energy. This battle is the death-knell of many a relationship.

But when you experience a sense of oneness with the universe, lose your sense of self and ego and learn to operate from love, there’s no more need for control dramas.

According to Redfield’s Nine Insights:

Humans have always felt insecure and disconnected from this sacred source, and have tried to take energy by dominating each other. This struggle is responsible for all human conflict.

The only solution is to cultivate a personal reconnection with the divine, a mystical transformation that fills us with unlimited energy and love, extends our perception of beauty, and lifts us into a Higher-Self Awareness.

When you realise that the energy in the universe is infinite and boundless, and learn how to tap into that divine energy and abundance, there’s no need for you to draw your energy from another person.

This realisation will completely transform your relationships. When you learn how to build your resources of energy directly from the universe, you can even give some to another person who needs it.

You know there’s always more where that came from.

The insights are not new. For thousands of years, spiritual and energy healers from the disciplines of Reiki, Tai Chi, Qigong and Yoga, have understood and used them to draw energy directly from the divine source.

Meditation is the way recommended by spiritual and energy healers, but a positive attitude and healthy diet are also important.

More reading on Yoga, Reiki, Tai Chi, Qigong, Energy Healing.

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One of the questions I’ve been asking myself recently is, “What is it that’s preventing me from being able to experience unconditional love in a relationship?”

The reason, I realised, was that I was responding from fear, not love.

Every time I felt threatened in a relationship (which was pretty often), my conditioning and survival response would kick in, causing my insecurities to rear their ugly heads.

I had to look deeper within and ask, “What is it that I fear when I run the risk of rejection, abandonment or being taken for granted?”

The answer came, “It’s the loss of ego that creates fear.”

Ego: the desire for identity and sense of self, that creates the illusion of our being separate from the rest of creation.

When we realise that we’re not a separate identity, that we’re part of the greater consciousness we call creation, then there’s no need for ego, and fear loses its grip over our mind.

Egolessness: An emotional state where one feels no ego (or self); of having no distinct being apart from the world around oneself.

Fear and Ego disempower us. They prevent us from acting from love and experiencing unconditional love in our relationships.

Here’s what my friend and healer, Leo Velloz, wrote about Fear:

Fear has many faces and most of those faces are in disguise. Fear can be so deceptive that we rarely recognize or define it, and therefore fail to challenge it when it sneaks up upon us in such an insidious way that it can paralyse, erode, control and ultimately destroy us.

Fear is the most lethal weapon and the most toxic poison known to man. Fear is highly contagious and self destructive.

Fear can be spread by word, suggestion, imagery, innuendo or intimidation. Fear is a chameleon and will most often show up as something completely different which makes it very difficult to recognize or unmask.

Almost all destructive behavioural and emotional responses can be tracked back to fear when we peel away the layers of our feelings and actions.

Fear is the core issue behind violence, jealousy, bigotry, anger, depression, greed, hatred, lies, insecurity or obsessive worry, just to name a few.

I believe there are no coincidences in life. When the student is ready the teacher appears. And so it happened with me.

As I was grappling with this personal dilemma, I received an email from a gentleman named Dr. Tim Ong. He’d just written an ebook on this very subject and sent me a copy. (Did I mention there are no coincidences? :-))

Dr. Ong’s book, From Fear To Love: A Spiritual Journey, is an inspiring account of his own battle with fear.

I just finished reading the ebook and want to share a beautiful quote from it here.

Love versus Fear

An old man said to his grandson, “Boy, I have two tigers caged within me. One is love and compassion. The other is fear and anger.”

The young boy asked, “Which one will win, grandfather?”

The old man replied, “The one I feed.”

And so in the battle between love and fear, its the emotion you nurture that will become the guiding force in your life.

Allow your ego and fears to rule you and you will never be capable of unconditional love. Respond from love and you chase away fear.

In From Fear To Love, Dr. Ong shows you how understanding the immutable laws that govern the universe and all of life, could transform your life, if you choose to let it.

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Since I discovered the benefits of meditation, my life has changed.

Incorporating meditation into my daily life has helped me heal, reduce stress, get more centered, improve my focus and concentration, and develop my inner resources of creativity and intuition.

Daily meditation is a life-changing tool used by many peak performers. Its changed my life so much that I can’t do without it.

Meditation is a powerful technique that can alter the structure of your brain, develop a calmer, quieter mind, supercharge your energy level and manifest what you truly desire in your life.

Indian yogis have tapped into its amazing power to manifest miracles and demonstrate amazing resilience even in the toughest circumstances.

Now scientists have found that meditation actually builds up the brain, trains it to focus better and cope with negative events.

According to an article in the New Scientist:

People who meditate say the practice restores their energy, and some claim they need less sleep as a result. Many studies have reported that the brain works differently during meditation €œ brainwave patterns change and neuronal firing patterns synchronise.

Meditating actually increases the thickness of the cortex in areas involved in attention and sensory processing, such as the prefrontal cortex and the right anterior insula. You are exercising it while you meditate, and it gets bigger.

The finding is in line with studies showing that accomplished musicians, athletes and linguists all have thickening in relevant areas of the cortex. It is further evidence that yogis aren’t just sitting there doing nothing”.

The growth of the cortex is not due to the growth of new neurons, but results from wider blood vessels, more supporting structures such as glia and astrocytes, and increased branching and connections.

The BBC reports that:

Buddhist monks often report that if something negative happens they are able to digest it and move on.

People who use meditation, including the Dalai Lama have said that the ability to control and direct your thoughts can be very beneficial in terms of mental health.

Meditation is a way of tapping into a process of manipulating brain activity. Meditation trains the brain to attend to just one thing at a time.

Meditation helps you get in touch with yourself, enjoy deep relaxation and peace, improves creativity, increases energy levels, promotes good health.

It can help you achieve personal insights and foster better relationships. Subscribe to this free email course on meditation to learn more.

I’ve tried out a number of different techniques, including active meditation at the Osho International Meditation Resort in Pune. I find I’m rather partial to guided meditations because they’re so much easier to do.

The techniques developed by my friend and personal healer, Leonard Velloz, are by far the most powerful I’ve ever tried.

Leo mastered meditations such as Tatva Shuddi and Pran Vidya after many years of study under the guidance of his Guru at Rishikesh, in Northern India. Over a period of time he devised various kinds of meditations that can help people who are ill, depressed and stressed out.

Leo is also a Feng Shui practitioner and is available for personal consultations at the number here: +91-9867341023 or through his website.

And do tell him I sent you.

If you’re the do-it-yourself sort who prefers a home-study course in meditation, here’s one that’s extremely powerful and works great for me - The Silva Ultramind System .

It’s based on a simple 15-minute technique for entering the Alpha level at will, creating “effective sensory projection.” Increased alpha activities have been reported in persons practicing both Yoga and Zen. I found it very effective for experiencing the sort of deep relaxation I need.

What really got me hooked into trying the Silva Ultramind course was the fact that it was used by Richard Bach while he was working on his classic “Jonathan Livingston Seagull” - one of my favourite books of all time.

Each person’s experience of meditation is very subjective, so I encourage you to test different techniques to find one that works for you. You could try out some online meditation courses here. The Think Right Now audios are highly recommended.

I also find autosuggestion or self-hypnosis a very powerful method of creating inner transformation while in the meditative state. You can download a free hypnosis mp3 or buy hypnosis downloads for your specific condition.

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