How To Attract The Mate Of Your Dreams
May 8th, 2006, 2:08 pm by Priya Florence Shah
Filed under Empowering Women, Empathy, Attraction, Self-Awareness, Intuition, Creativity, Law Of Attraction, Love, Self-Love, Healing, Ecology, Happiness, Attitude, Self-Improvement, Spirituality, Relationships, Experiences, Personal Growth, Wellness, Self Help, My Life, Thoughts
In my quest to find the perfect mate, I often ended up dating or attracting people who were completely wrong for me. It was only when I realised a simple truth that my entire concept of relationships changed.
Practitioners of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) have a rule that states: The meaning of your communication is the response that you get. That means the response you elicit from a person depends entirely on how you communicate your ideas to them.
If you communicate in a way that gets you the response you desired, you were successful. If not, you need to learn what was missing in your communication and how to incorporate that the next time you try.
Notice how this rule places the onus of getting a response on YOU, not on the other person.
If you extrapolate this to relationships, you could say, “The kind of person you attract depends on the kind of person you are.” Our relationships, and the people we attract into our lives, are just a reflection of who we are, at that point in our lives.
We often talk about men (or women) being “emotionally unavailable” or unwilling to commit to a better relationship. But the kind of people we attract into our lives often tend to be people who mirror our personality or the issues we are dealing with, in some way.
If, deep down, you have a fear of commitment or of “losing your freedom”, then you’re going to attract a mate with the same issues. If you have no self-love or low self-esteem, you’ll end up attracting people with the same problems.
The reason why we see patterns in our lives, why we get into abusive or unfulfilling relationships, is because we’ve not dealt with the issues that were responsible for creating our own beliefs and personalities.
The Law of Attraction states that like attracts like. If you think positive thoughts, you’ll attract good things to you. If you respect people and do well by them, you’ll elicit the same response from them.
If you want to attract a person with all the qualities you want in a mate, then you must develop those qualities in yourself.
Want your mate to be more loving, giving and kind? Then become more loving, giving and kind.
Want your mate to be health-conscious? Start taking charge of your own health and fitness.
Want your mate to have a good sense of humour? Take the time and effort to develop your own sense of humour.
Want your mate to be financially secure? Get your own finances in order.
Want your mate to be emotionally available? Commit to share more of yourself first.
If you’ve been attracting the wrong kind of people into your life, take a good look at the person in the mirror. Get to know yourself better. You’ll find the answers are all inside you.
If you want a better relationship, you must become a better person. To attract the mate of your dreams, you must become the person you want to attract.
Recommended Reading:
Find The Man Of Your Dreams by Bob Grant
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Soul Kadee: An Appetite for Life » Attracting your Soul Mate and More said,
May 20th, 2006, 6:24 pm
[…] AÂ while ago, in my article titled “How To Attract The Mate Of Your Dreams” I wrote that to attract your ideal mate, you must change yourself to match that ideal. […]
Pranav said,
May 23rd, 2006, 12:20 pm
Dont agree fully…how about the one we’ve heard all this while: ‘Opposites Attract’? I’ve alternately been in relationships where in one, the person had a totally low sense of self esteem while in the other, she was brimming with self love and self confidence…I had been the same, all along. and on a funny note though I am very health conscious, all of my partners loathe doing ANY physical activities to achieve a healthy lifestyle.
Soul Kadee: An Appetite for Life » Are You Marriage Material? said,
November 18th, 2006, 6:07 pm
[…] I’m reading an ebook of that name by Scot McKay, and highly recommend it if you’re widowed/divorced and looking at getting into the dating scene the second time around. It shows you how to take charge of your own dating life and attract a good partner by (surprise, surprise) becoming a great partner yourself (I wrote an article on this here). You can download a preview of Deserve What You Want here. I also recommend Be the Person You Want to Find : Relationship and Self-Discovery by Cheri Huber, a Zen teacher. […]
Relationship Tips » Are You Truly Marriage Material? said,
November 24th, 2006, 11:43 am
[…] In an earlier article titled “How to Attract The Mate Of Your Dreams“, I wrote that the best way to attract a great partner is to become one yourself. You’ll find some good books that teach you how to become a great partner here. […]
Are You Truly Marriage Material? said,
November 28th, 2006, 3:09 pm
[…] In an earlier article titled “How to Attract The Mate Of Your Dreams” [http://www.soulkadee.com/2006/05/08/how-to-attract-the-mate-of-your-dreams/], I wrote that the best way to attract a great partner is to become one yourself. You’ll find a number of good books that teach you how to become a great partner here… http://www.healthy-relationships.net/become-a-great-partner.htm […]
Soul Kadee: An Appetite for Life » The Law Of Attraction Is No Secret said,
March 4th, 2007, 10:54 am
[…] Even before I learned about the Law Of Attraction, I understood that we consciously attract people and events into our lives that match our “wavelength.” I knew that, to attract the mate of my dreams, I must become the person I want to attract. (work in progress) […]
Super Ways said,
July 21st, 2007, 12:05 pm
5 Ways to Transform Your Partner Into Your Perfect Mate….
Attracting one’s soul mate is a preoccupation many people are struggling with. In the world of dating and researching for the perfect mate, it seams to get harder and harder to find that special person who will make us complete. The commerce of onlin…
Chantelle said,
May 18th, 2008, 12:40 am
It’s so true. The kind of people we attract represent how we feel about ourselves. People who don’t really like themselves are constantly dating people who abuse them or mistreat them because they just aren’t comfortable being treated well. It seems like that is CRAZY but comfort is a powerful thing.
I started to see that as I started seeing myself in a better light, dating idiots wasn’t even possible, it’s like I can’t even see those people. It’s amazing how much taking a break to work on yourself can do wonders for your future relationships.
Cheers:)