Decide Not To Be Perfect
June 6th, 2006, 9:43 pm by Priya Florence Shah
Filed under Wellness, Self Help, Stress-Relief, Happiness, Self-Awareness, My Life, Personal Growth, Relationships, Self-Improvement, Attitude, Experiences, Thoughts
Do you find yourself getting stressed out often as a result of trying to be perfect? I should know. I used to be a perfectionist, and I beat myself up constantly in an effort to reach some unattainable goal of perfection.
Over the years, I learned that it was OK to make mistakes, to be human. So, to a large extent, I managed to avoid the negative consequences of perfectionism, which include
- Low self-esteem
- Guilt
- Pessimism
- Depression
- Rigidity
- Obsessiveness
- Compulsive behavior
- Lack of motivation
- Immobilization
- Lack of belief in self
Even as parents, we need to realise that it’s OK to make mistakes with our kids. In fact, it takes a great deal of pressure off them and allows them to feel greater acceptance when they realise that we’re all still learning and that even their seemingly-perfect parents know it’s alright to err. More on that in another post.
Yesterday, I was listening to a great little audio by Tony Robbins on the Power of Positive Thinking, where he stated that it’s ok not to be positive 100% of the time.
The few times that we do employ critical (he chose not to call it negative) thinking, it should be for the purpose of finding out what’s not working in our lives, and deciding what we want to do about it.
One of the statements that really stuck with me was when he recommended that we “Decide not to be perfect.” Just that one decision can take so much pressure off you and open the door to greater self-love and self-acceptance.
If you still believe that perfectionism is the key to achieving your goals, the article here has tips on doing that in a healthier way.
They include:
- Setting high standards that are just beyond reach
- Enjoying the process as well as outcome
- Learning how to bounce back from failure and disappointment quickly and with energy
- Keeping your normal anxiety and fear of failure and disapproval within bounds €œ use them to create energy instead
- See mistakes as opportunities for growth and learning
- React positively to helpful criticism
Decide NOT to be perfect. So when you do make a mistake, you can pick up the pieces, forgive yourself and move on with your life.
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Carla said,
June 16th, 2006, 3:55 am
Excellent article on perfectionism. This is a hard issue to deal with, who\’s standards are we trying to please???.