Self-Worth And Self-Esteem
June 21st, 2006, 11:39 pm by Priya Florence Shah
Filed under Wellness, Self Help, Happiness, Self-Awareness, Stupid Mistakes Women Make, Empowering Women, My Life, Personal Growth, Self-Improvement, Relationships, Attitude, Books, Experiences, Thoughts
I’ve been reading three excellent books (Ok, I admit it. I’m a serial info-junkie!):
- You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
- Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives by Dr. Laura Schessinger
- A Woman’s Self-Esteem: Struggles and Triumphs in the Search for Identity by Nathaniel Branden
The common thread that runs through all of them is that to heal ourselves and have healthy relationships, the most important quality we must cultivate in ourselves is Self-Love/Self-Worth/Self-Esteem.
Like most women, I learned the hard way that if you don’t love and respect yourself, there’s no way you can expect someone else to love and respect you.
Louise Hay writes how we make ourselves ill by having thoughts of self-hatred.
I know this is true, and recommend her book to everyone, man or woman, who needs to learn how to heal the wounds of the past (and we all have these wounds, whether we’re willing to admit it or not).
The other books are woman-centric. Nathaniel Branden’s extensive writings on building self-esteem are applicable to both sexes and highly recommended.
But I’m enjoying Dr. Laura Schessinger’s book the most, because she really tells it like it is. If you’re unhappy and your life seems a mess, you have no one but yourself to blame, she says.
So true! Women are often their own worst enemies. We don’t need men to hurt and abuse us. We’re pretty good at doing that to ourselves.
Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives uses real-world examples from Schlessinger’s radio show and private practice to drive the message home. And the message is that our reticence to be bold and brave often makes us act like stupid, submissive victims. Once we muster the courage to take responsibility for our own problems and to tolerate the discomforts of risk, the possibilities for personal growth and joy are limitless.
She also notes that there are no quick fixes to boosting your self-esteem. That women can learn a lot from men when it comes to building one’s self-worth and recommends having a sense of purpose and working towards a goal as the best way to boost self-esteem. But there are more aspects to self-esteem - integrity, for instance - as Branden notes in his book.
Her advice brought back memories of all the life lessons I’ve learned in the University of Hard Knocks, some of which I’ll outline in a series of posts titled: The Stupid Mistakes Women Make In Relationships.
So here’s Stupid Mistake #1: Making The Relationship Your Raison D’Etre
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Popularity: 17% [?]
Soul Kadee: An Appetite for Life » Stupid Mistake #1: Making The Relationship Your Raison D’Etre said,
June 22nd, 2006, 1:08 am
[…] I know from personal experience that this works, and strongly believe that ALL women must take the trouble to get an education and put their knowledge or skills to good use either in the workplace or community. Your achievements will boost your self-esteem and vice versa. […]
Soul Kadee: An Appetite for Life » Stupid Mistake #2: Being Too Dependent On A Man said,
August 2nd, 2006, 11:26 am
[…] Independence promotes self-worth and self-esteem, and gives you the confidence to walk away from a bad or abusive relationship. There are five main forms of independence worth discussing here: […]
txdave said,
August 29th, 2006, 10:41 pm
You can be more assertive, get more what YOU want out of life.
Good advice and the Ask Andy columns—
http://assertivenesssucceeds.blogspot.com
Lyndon Antcliff said,
August 30th, 2006, 8:33 am
I feel that if you want to improve your self esteem then the best way to do it is improve your respect and love for other people, even men
Other people are reflected in ourselves, if we love others we love ourself.
Soul Kadee: An Appetite for Life » Stupid Mistake #7: Neglecting Yourself said,
January 8th, 2007, 10:47 pm
[…] It was really my emotional and spiritual transformation that made the most difference to my health. Because ultimately the tendency to neglect ourselves, put the well-being of others before our own, and stop caring for the way we look and feel is just a manifestation of poor emotional health, false beliefs and low self-esteem. […]