Soul Kadee

I don’t mean Dr. Hawking’s theories on the universe and black holes. I mean his reasons for remaining in an allegedly abusive relationship with his wife/nurse, Elaine, for 17 years.

When asked his reason for remaining with her, he supposedly answered, “Any relationship is better than no relationship” (or something to that effect).

Wrong, Dr. Hawking! No relationship is worth staying in if it destroys your self-esteem and poses a threat to your health and well-being.

Because Dr. Hawking suffers from motor neurone disease and is practically an invalid, he’s especially vulnerable to abuse. What I fail to understand, however, is why a man like him tolerated it for so long! I guess intelligence is no guarantee against making stupid choices in relationships.

Women are not the only ones abused. Men are often abused too. Men find it even harder to admit to being abused because of the male ego. I think men are more prone to abuse others physically, while women are more prone to become verbal and emotional abusers (or the passive-agressive types). A man’s ego is a very fragile thing and many women know they can gain power over a man by destroying that.

Women tolerate abuse because of financial or emotional dependence, low self-esteem and for the sake of the kids. But why do men tolerate it? Is it just the shame or the fragile male ego that doesn’t let them admit to abuse? According to BatteredMen.com, some of the feelings men experience in abusive relationships are very similar to what women experience.

Shame: What will my friends, family, colleagues and neighbors think? What will people think if they knew I let a woman beat up on me? It’s a private matter - it belongs in the family. If I say anything, she’ll tell everyone I’m the abusive one, and shame me in public. I’m ashamed I’m not strong enough to defend myself. Everyone knows it’s men that are the violent ones [the shame of male for being male].

Self-Worth: I probably deserved it. This is the best I deserve. With my looks, or age, or personality, or income, this is as good a relationship as I’ll ever be able to get.

Denial: It’s not that bad. All I have to do is leave the house until she cools down. [That’s what TV star Phil Hartman said , before his wife murdered him and killed herself.] I can weather this one, just like I did the others.

Reluctance to Give Up the Good: If people got to know her, they’d see what a creative, or loving, or wonderful person she is. She’s like this only some of the time. The sex is great, and I can put up with being batted around a little. I’d be lost without a relationship with her. I’d be lost without a relationship.

Inertia: It’s too hard to do anything. I’m not ready for that much change in my life. I’ll do it tomorrow, or later, when I’m not so busy. Sounds like a lot of work - more to take care of than I can handle right now. Force of habit. I’m used to life the way it is now.

The Kids: Another reason for staying is to protect the kids. The research shows that people who assault their partners, women as well as men, are likely to assault their children, too. If he leaves, chances are he’ll never be able to come back. In today’s climate, there’s a good chance she’ll be able to allege that he has assaulted her or assaulted or even sexually abused the kids, and get a protection order on her say-so, barring him from seeing the kids.

Fear of having a 911 call turned around: If a man is being battered and trying to protect the kids, and he calls 911, all too frequently he is the one who ends up being arrested. At a minimum, he may experience problems getting the police to believe that he’s been assaulted or that he needs police help.

Why Do Battered Men Stay? has a selection of articles that will help you understand why men stay in abusive relationships or remain silent.

Resources for Abused Men:

Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence

Insult to Injury: Rethinking our Responses to Intimate Abuse

When She Was Bad…: Violent Women and the Myth of Innocence

Popularity: 5% [?]

The popular notion of love is that it’s a feeling, an emotion. But is that really true? While being in love does generate powerful feelings and emotions, those are just the symptoms or effect of love.

In a spiritual sense, love is a way of life, a way of being. We do not fall in love or feel love. We practice love. Love is about DOING, not feeling.

When you spend time with the people you care about, perform acts of service for them, speak to them in a loving manner, touch or hug them them lovingly, or present them with a token of your appreciation for what they bring to your life, you’re practising the Art of Love.

I’ve been reading a beautiful book called “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate” by Gary Chapman. It’s an excellent resource to learn how to express your love in a way that your mate will understand.

Why is that important, you ask? Well, according to Chapman, each of us has a primary preference for the way we understand love.

The art of effectively communicating love to your mate requires that you gain an understanding of his/her primary love language. Without that understanding, you may be expressing love in a way that YOU understand, but your mate doesn’t.

This gap in communication and understanding is often what causes lovers to feel unappreciated. It’s not a man-woman thing, but a preference created by the way our parents and caregivers expressed love when we were children.

So what are the Five Love Languages? According to Chapman, they are

• Words of Affirmation
• Quality Time
• Receiving Gifts
• Acts of Service
• Physical Touch

My primary love language is Quality Time, followed by Acts of Service. So if someone were to buy me flowers or gifts, I would appreciate them, but not as much as if they spent time with me, or showed me that they cared by doing little things for me.

Though we have a primary love language, we can learn a second language so that our spouse’s needs are met. It’s all about giving a little here and there, and accepting that our spouse’s preferred channel may be different from ours.

There’s a nice little test you can take here to find out what your primary love language is. This is what my results on the test looked like.

#1 Quality Time: This can be expressed either through those intimate tete-a-tete discussions or via doing things together. It’s possible to get a low score in this category because you have a strong preference for one form of Quality Time over another.

#2 Acts of Service: You prefer to show your love through favors and chores and doing things for others. You feel put-upon and unappreciated when your efforts are taken for granted.

#3 Touch: You want to give and/or receive affection physically. This may or may not center around sex.

#4 Words of Affirmation: You need to hear praise to know you are loved and you may also prefer to express your affection verbally. Negative comments cut right to the bone. You want to hear that you’re loved and how much and why.

#5 Gifts: You are moved by presents and physical tokens of affection. It’s the fact that someone is thinking about you enough to give you something that moves you. The objects are of secondary importance to the relationship and sentiment with which they were intended.

To transform our relationships, we need to stop getting caught up in feelings and emotions, and start practicing acts of love. When we learn the love languages of each of the people in our lives, we can express our love in more meaningful ways.

Love manuals on my reading list:

How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

Buddhist teacher and writer David Richo gives practical and spiritual exercises for couples and singles who want to have mature and lasting relationships. Emphasizing paying attention and letting go, Richo gently and compassionately coaches readers on what he calls the five A’s: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection and allowing. His book, which proposes “letting go of ego,” will help those seeking personal transformation in their relationships.

The Feel the Fear Guide to Lasting Love

The Feel the Fear Guide to Lasting Love shows us how to push through the fear and negativity that erode relationships, and embrace a life-affirming approach to love.

The Path to Love: Spiritual Strategies for Healing

Philosophical, inspiring, and ultimately very practical, Deepak Chopra’s The Path to Love is a book that can change lives as it invites the spirit to work its wonders on the most complex and richly rewarding terrain of all: the human heart.

How to Make Love All the Time: Make Love Last a Lifetime

Renowned relationship and self-improvement expert, Barbara DeAngelis, teaches you the secret ingredients for building a successful and exciting relationship — and making love last a lifetime.

Popularity: 9% [?]

“That which you gain from each difficult life, you gain for all eternity.”

– from Destiny of Souls by Michael Newton, PH.D.

One of my favourite television programs is “Inside The Actor’s Studio,” where I get a glimpse of my favourite movie stars, up close and personal.

While I found my hottie, Pierce Brosnan, a total disappointment (stiff and self-conscious), I loved the interviews of Jennifer Lopez (the complete diva!), Renee Zellweger (sweet, sensitive and empathic), Ben Kingsley (a class act!) and Ian McKellan (Class Act II).

But the one I loved the most was that of Salma Hayek - who also happens to be my favourite actor, one of the few women I wouldn’t mind changing my sexual orientation for, and a beautiful soul.

Her labour of love, Frida, also happens to be one of my favourite movies of all time. Frida is the biography of artist Frida Kahlo, who channeled the pain of a crippling injury and her tempestuous marriage into her work.

One statement that Salma made, in her interview with the young actors and directors, stays with me till this day, because it resonates with what I’ve believed all my life (even if I haven’t always felt that positive).

“Embrace Adversity,” she said, “It’s the best teacher.”

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. So if life throws you a curveball (or a googly, as we say in India), know that it’s just one of the many lessons that the universe wants you to learn from. And if you learn your lessons well, you’ll come out on top every time.

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

– Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Popularity: 8% [?]

Ideally, this should have been the first article in the series of stupid mistakes women make in relationships, but it took me a while to get my thoughts together, partly because it’s a very complex issue, and partly because it hits very close to home.

As someone who suffered physical abuse in childhood (that comprised beatings inflicted on me and my siblings by a maid servant), I guess I can write about this topic with some degree of sensitivity.

What spurred me to actually start writing this was being interviewed for an article on domestic abuse by Ryzer Pallavi Bhattacharya, and the fact that the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act 2005 comes into effect in India from tomorrow.

I think this is an historic act for Indian women, because it also includes punishment for sexual abuse of children. As per the new act, men found guilty of abuse of a wife or a live-in-partner or a child can be jailed for a year or fined heavily, apart from beind booked under different sections of Indian Penal Code.

It allows victims of abuse to seek legal action for any of the following:

Physical violence: Beating, pushing, shoving, causing bodily pain.

Sexual violence: Forced sexual intercourse, forced to look at pornography, child sexual abuse.

Verbal and emotional abuse: Insults, name calling, insults for not having a male child, preventing from taking a job, forcing you a marry a particular person, forcing you to get married when you don’t want to get married, threat to commit suicide and preventing you from meeting any person.

Economic offences: Not providing money for your and children’s maintenance, not providing food, cloth and medicines, stopping or disturbing from carrying your employment, not allowing you to use your salary, forcing you to live in a house, not paying rent and forcing you out of the house.

If screaming and yelling classifies as verbally abusing your spouse, I think most people in relationships could claim to have been in abusive situations. While a single incident does not necessarily make a relationship abusive, I’d draw the line at staying in a relationship that featured one or more of these patterns on a regular basis.

But, for some of the more damaging forms of abuse (child sexual abuse, rape, physical violence), a single incident is sufficient warning of dysfunctional or abusive tendencies, and should be taken very seriously.

Pallavi asked me (and other women’s activists) some basic questions regarding abuse, and I reproduce some of her questions and my own take on this issue here.

What is an abusive relationship?

An abusive relationship is any relationship that threatens your well-being and/or violates your boundaries, either physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually.

Physical abuse includes hitting, beating, torture and rape.

Sexual abuse should also include forcing one’s partner to perform acts they are uncomfortable with.

Mental abuse includes manipulating people into doing things they are not comfortable with, or attempting to convince a person that they are crazy (when it is really the abuser who is the crazy one).

Emotional abuse is an attempt to destroy another person’s self-esteem and keep them dependent on the abuser, e.g. convincing a person they are no good, that they cannot do without the abuser, that no one else will want them, that they are unattractive and stupid.

Spiritual abuse often goes unnoticed because it is very subtle. It is usually an attack on the person’s beliefs, telling them that what they believe is wrong, and trying to coerce them to change the way they think or feel, even when they are unwilling to do so. Forcing a person to convert to another religion would classify as spiritual abuse.

What causes spouse abuse? Why do spouses stay in an abusive relationship?

Here’s my take on this. On the psychological level, abuse is about power and control. Abusers are usually people who have been abused or have grown up in a dysfunctional home.

Their tendency to abuse or control is based on a feeling of being powerless to prevent situations or acts that they had to endure as children. Abusing or controlling another person is a way of regaining the power they had lost as children.

Because the abusive relationship is the only pattern of “love” they are familiar with, people who have been abused, neglected or abandoned in childhood choose to get into and remain in abusive relationships in adulthood, because the pattern feels familiar and therefore, “safe”.

The exception, of course, is an arranged marriage (popular in many countries, including India), especially one where the abuse is based on dowry demands. Here the abused woman is usually not aware of the abusive tendencies of her spouse (and his family) when she opts to get married.

Not all chidren who have been abused or lived in dysfunctional homes become abusers when they grow up. Some enter into codependent relationships that involve excessive giving or taking. The lucky ones are able to deal with their pain in a healthy manner and go on to have healthy relationships.

A lot of Indian marriages are codependent relationships, with men, in general, being takers (on the narsicisstic side of the codependent spectrum). I blame this more on the fact that the boy child is still valued more (and hence treated far better) than the girl child in India, and the sexes have well-defined roles in traditional Indian marriages.

There are exceptions, of course, where the woman is the taker. But, the fact remains that most women choose to remain in abusive relationships because they have low self-esteem and have nowhere else to go.

If you, as a grown woman, make that choice, you are just as guilty of tolerating abuse as your abuser is of meting it out. Ultimately it boils down to whether you’re willing to take responsibility for yourself and your own well-being.

Why children are NOT a reason to stay in an abusive relationship:

If you’ve decided to stay in an abusive relationship for the sake of your children, here are a couple of facts you should consider very seriously.

- It’s much better for a child to have one happy parent than two unhappy ones. That’s a fact, not an opinion!

- Children who see their parents tolerate abuse are learning that it’s ok to accept or inflict abuse.

By choosing to stay in an abusive relationship, you not only become a bad role model for your kids, but are creating an unhealthy model for relationships in their young minds, making them more likely to become abusers or victims of abuse themselves.

I have seen, from personal experience, that children of women who chose to stay in abusive relationships are often more angry with their mother for not getting out of the relationship than they are with the abusive father.

Your children will lose respect for you and blame you for the anguish they had to go through, because YOU HAD A CHOICE AND THEY DIDN’T.

What should you do if you’re in an abusive relationship?

Get out now! Realize that you have a choice. You do NOT have to remain in an abusive relationship. Remove yourself from the abusive situation immediately.

Get help. There are many organisations and people willing to help women who are abused. Ask them about your rights and your legal course of action. You’ll find a list of organisations to contact here.

Spend time getting in touch with yourself and your own needs. Get clear on what you really want to do with your life. Find a purpose in your life and follow your dreams. It will help you re-build your self-esteem and become independent.

Learn to understand and deal with your own codependent tendencies. Stop thinking that another person can make you feel happy or secure or fulfilled. You are the only one who can make you feel that way. Cultivate independence and you’ll attract healthy partners and relationships.

Believe in yourself. Know that you do not need anyone but yourself to take care of your needs. Have faith in your ability to do that. When you learn take care of your own needs, you’ll never have to settle for being in an abusive situation again.

Recommended Reading:

Emotionally Abused Women

Marriage and family therapist, Beverly Engel, discusses the emotional abuse of women, how to stand up to an abusive partner, get out of an abusive relationship, and even deal with emotional abuse in the workplace.

Beverly Engel’s Books on Abusive Relationships

Beverly is the best selling author of eighteen self-help books. She is a psychotherapist with over 25 years of experience and is an internationally recognized expert in the fields of abuse, women’s issues, relationships, and sexuality.

Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood

Although I’ve spent a lot of time working on my codependent tendencies, this excellent book, which I’m currently reading, made me painfully aware of how these patterns were reinforced by my abusive childhood and my parents’ dysfunctional marriage. Armed with that knowledge, I now feel more empowered to understand and change my own patterns. I highly recommend it if you find that you have a tendency to attract needy partners or give far more than you get in relationships.

Codependence: Painful Adult Behaviors Learned in Childhood

An excellent article that explores the origins of codependence, and why women are more prone to codependent behaviour.

Popularity: 13% [?]

The secret to happiness is really very simple. It’s learning to be in the present, in the now. All unhappiness and discontent is the result of living in the past or worrying about the future.

This moment, this second, is the only reality we have. The past is gone. The future doesn’t exist.

The importance of living in the moment is an ancient message, and one that’s been receiving much attention in recent times, thanks to the popularity of authors like Eckhart Tolle.

As the review of his book, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment, notes:

Living in the now is the truest path to happiness and enlightenment. Our true identity is in our moment-to-moment experiences rather than in our past or future.

Concern about anything but the present is an unhealthy identification with the mind that can only cause pain and an illusion of control. Being totally aware of ourselves in each moment actually requires little effort or direction if we stop our thoughts long enough to find the pure consciousness that exists in the gaps between them.

Living in the moment is called mindfulness - a Buddhist practice whereby a person is intentionally aware of his or her thoughts and actions in the present moment, non-judgmentally. In Buddhism, mindfulness is considered a prerequisite for developing insight and wisdom.

Mindfulness is being aware of your present moment. You are not judging, reflecting or thinking. You are simply observing the moment in which you find yourself. Moments are like a breath. Each breath is replaced by the next breath.

You’re there with no other purpose than being awake and aware of that moment. As John Kabit Zinn says reflecting on a Japanese mindfulness puzzle: “Wherever you go, there you are.”

Most of our unhappiness arises because we view the challenges in our lives as “problems.” But, as Dr. Brenda Shoshanna notes in her ebook, Living By Zen:

Zen practice is the way of no problem, of being fully with each step we take, not looking backwards or forward, just being present fully, one hundred percent. This is the way of not second guessing ourselves, or torturing ourselves with the conflict and remorse that accompanies every choice we make.

In Zen practice we do not make life into a problem, but into a wonderful adventure in which we learn, love, grow and thoroughly enjoy. This is the way of releasing ourselves and others from demands, images and expectations that have little to do with who we truly are now or what is going on in our lives. All experiences are welcomed and fully digested, not judged good or bad.

Mindfulness can be practiced anytime. In fact, you can start right now. By fully experiencing the words you are now reading, the thoughts you are thinking, the feelings you are experiencing.

It can be practised at the dinner table, by fully enjoying, in silence, every bite of food, every sip of water. It can be practised while talking a walk, as in walking meditation, which teaches one to fully experience every step you take.

As an intuitive person, I was unaccustomed to living in the moment. Intuitives have a tendency to live in the past or the future. So, for me, being mindful requires an effort. Traditional mindfulness exercises, like meditation, work well for me because I love quiet, introspective ways of learning.

But meditation is only one way to learn mindfulness and it’s not suitable for everyone. The Real-World Mindfulness Trainingâ„¢ program, developed by Maya Talisman Frost, includes a simple series of activities that anyone can do in order to both broaden and sharpen attention while engaging in daily activities.

If you could train your mind to let go of other desires,
you would be able to experience peace of mind.
The road to peace of mind is through a practice called mindfulness.”
- Joan Borysenko, Ph.D., author, Minding the Body, Mending the Mind

Tags: mindfulness, Buddhism, Zen, Meditation, Spirituality, happiness, Personal Development

Popularity: 11% [?]

My friend, Tarannum Siddiqui, who moderates the Enlightment By Tarannum list, and writes the Enlightenment blog on my new blogging portal, shared this wonderful article by copywriter and metaphysician, Joe Vitale. I thought it was a beautiful example of how love and loving oneself can actually heal others.

The World’s Most Unusual Therapist

Two years ago, I heard about a therapist in Hawaii who cured a complete ward of criminally insane patients–without ever seeing any of them. The psychologist would study an inmate’s chart and then look within himself to see how he created that person’s illness. As he improved himself, the patient improved.

When I first heard this story, I thought it was an urban legend. How could anyone heal anyone else by healing himself? How could even the best self-improvement master cure the criminally insane?

It didn’t make any sense. It wasn’t logical, so I dismissed the story.

However, I heard it again a year later. I heard that the therapist had used a Hawaiian healing process called ho ‘oponopono. I had never heard of it, yet I couldn’t let it leave my mind. If the story was at all true, I had to know more.

I had always understood “total responsibility” to mean that I am responsible for what I think and do. Beyond that, it’s out of my hands. I think that most people think of total responsibility that way.

We’re responsible for what we do, not what anyone else does. The Hawaiian therapist who healed those mentally ill people would teach me an advanced new perspective about total responsibility.

His name is Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. We probably spent an hour talking on our first phone call. I asked him to tell me the complete story of his work as a therapist. He explained that he worked at Hawaii State Hospital for four years.

That ward where they kept the criminally insane was dangerous. Psychologists quit on a monthly basis. The staff called in sick a lot or simply quit. People would walk through that ward with their backs against the wall, afraid of being attacked by patients. It was not a pleasant place to live, work, or visit.

Dr. Len told me that he never saw patients. He agreed to have an office and to review their files. While he looked at those files, he would work on himself. As he worked on himself, patients began to heal.

“After a few months, patients that had to be shackled were being allowed to walk freely,” he told me. “Others who had to be heavily medicated were getting off their medications. And those who had no chance of ever being released were being freed.”

I was in awe.

“Not only that,” he went on, “but the staff began to enjoy coming to work. Absenteeism and turnover disappeared. We ended up with more staff than we needed because patients were being released, and all the staff was showing up to work. Today, that ward is closed.”

This is where I had to ask the million dollar question: “What were you doing within yourself that caused those people to change?”

“I was simply healing the part of me that created them,” he said.

I didn’t understand.

Dr. Len explained that total responsibility for your life means that everything in your life - simply because it is in your life–is your responsibility. In a literal sense the entire world is your creation.

Whew. This is tough to swallow. Being responsible for what I say or do is one thing. Being responsible for what everyone in my life says or does is quite another. Yet, the truth is this: if you take complete responsibility for your life, then everything you see, hear, taste, touch, or in any way experience is your responsibility because it is in your life.

This means that terrorist activity, the president, the economy–anything you experience and don’t like–is up for you to heal. They don’t exist, in a manner of speaking, except as projections from inside you. The problem isn’t with them, it’s with you, and to change them, you have to change you.

I know this is tough to grasp, let alone accept or actually live. Blame is far easier than total responsibility, but as I spoke with Dr. Len, I began to realize that healing for him and in ho ‘oponopono means loving yourself. If you want to improve your life, you have to heal your life. If you want to cure anyone–even a mentally ill criminal–you do it by healing you.

I asked Dr. Len how he went about healing himself. What was he doing, exactly, when he looked at those patients’ files?

“I just kept saying, ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I love you’ over and over again,” he explained.

That’s it?

That’s it.

Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve yourself, your improve your world. Let me give you a quick example of how this works: one day, someone sent me an email that upset me. In the past I would have handled it by working on my emotional hot buttons or by trying to reason with the person who sent the nasty message.

This time, I decided to try Dr. Len’s method. I kept silently saying, “I’m sorry” and “I love you,” I didn’t say it to anyone in particular. I was simply evoking the spirit of love to heal within me what was creating the outer circumstance.

Within an hour I got an e-mail from the same person. He apologized for his previous message. Keep in mind that I didn’t take any outward action to get that apology. I didn’t even write him back. Yet, by saying “I love you,” I somehow healed within me what was creating him.

I later attended a ho ‘oponopono workshop run by Dr. Len. He’s now 70 years old, considered a grandfatherly shaman, and is somewhat reclusive. He praised my book, The Attractor Factor. He told me that as I improve myself, my book’s vibration will raise, and everyone will feel it when they read it. In short, as I improve, my readers will improve.

“What about the books that are already sold and out there?” I asked.

“They aren’t out there,” he explained, once again blowing my mind with his mystic wisdom. “They are still in you.”

In short, there is no out there.

It would take a whole book to explain this advanced technique with the depth it deserves. Suffice it to say that whenever you want to improve anything in your life, there’s only one place to look: inside you.

“When you look, do it with love.”

This article is from the forthcoming book “Zero Limits” by Dr. Joe Vitale and Dr. Len. Joe shared the work of Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len and the Ho’oponopono healing process at the Beyond Manifestation weekend. Get the audio, transcripts and manual of the Beyond Manifestation weekend here.

Popularity: 12% [?]

It’s a sad statement on the state of the world today when you need official permission to give someone a free hug.

Here’s the true story of one man who did that.

And here’s a BIG [[[ ]]] from me to all of you!!

Popularity: 6% [?]

When you reach a certain point in your spiritual maturity, you demonstrate more of the characteristics of enlightenment. As you ascend in vibrational frequency and mastery, you take on more of the qualities ascribed to God such as profound wisdom, creatorship, and loving without conditions.

You become aware that you are far greater than you had thought, and that you are far more powerful. Your definition of you expands dramatically, and you behave accordingly. Here are three qualities you embody when you are spiritually mature:

You take full responsibility for everything that occurs in your reality. You’ve reached the level of consciousness that allows you to truly see that you are the Creator of all that you experience, and that, whether you created something out of awareness, or by default without realizing what you were doing, it is all your creation.

You know that you are manifesting your life through the vibration you foster, and to change your manifestations, you simply adjust your vibration. You understand that when you stay centered in Love, and your predominant vibration is joy, your manifestations are pleasing.

You allow all and no longer need to be right. You see through the eyes of Wisdom and understand that there are as many perceptions about what is Truth as there are people to have them, and that is just as it is designed to be. You realize that everyone is having the experience of being human on behalf of God, All That Is, that nothing anyone can do can possibly be excluded from All That Is.

You know that diversity of form and of thought serves God’s desire for a complete knowing of Itself and of Its potential by providing an infinite variety of experience. You understand that ego is the one that needs to judge and be right, that needs to exclude, and that needs validation, and you are happy to rise above it by accepting all as being simply the way it is. Period.

You are committed to unconditional radiance. Your greatest desire is that Love from Source continuously flows unimpeded through you, radiates from you, and returns to Source. You know that this is the key to experiencing ease, peace, harmony, and bliss.

Your intention in this regard includes offering no resistance to the Flow, and embracing even your ego in the knowledge that it is simply doing what it is designed to do. When someone’s ego summons your own ego and invites you out of the Flow, you know to simply say, No, thank you, because you know that nothing is more important€or more empowering€than being in alignment with Source and radiating Love unconditionally.

©2006 Julia Rogers Hamrick

Julia Rogers Hamrick has been a spiritual-growth facilitator for over two decades, and is the author of Recreating Eden: The Exquisitely Simple, Divinely Ordained Plan for Transforming Your Life and Your Planet. Julia writes about and leads seminars on proactive joy, and the relationship between vibrational frequency and experience. For more information on Julia and recreating Eden, and to get on her list to be eligible for her f’ree monthly teleseminars, visit http://www.recreating-eden.com.

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