Soul Kadee

One of the best books I’ve read in recent times, is Marie Forleo’s rather misleadingly titled “Make Every Man Want You (or Make Yours Want You More).” In fact, it’s so good I read it twice.

In her honest, funny and refreshingly candid way, Marie, a world-renowned life coach and fitness personality, tells you how to become so damn irresistible, you’ll barely keep from dating yourself.

But don’t let the catchy title fool you, because it’s more a self-help book than a relationship book. And by being “irresistible”, Marie doesn’t just mean looking good, but being the best person you can be.

As one reviewer notes, her advice almost reads like the Four Noble Truths in Buddhism, as she explains how women sabotage a good relationship, simply because of unattractive habits and false beliefs about men and love:

Her “Time-Tested Truths” from Chapter 3 are:

1. A Relationship Will Not Save You
2. Relationships Are Spiritual Opportunities, Not a Needs Exchange
3. Life Is Now: This Is It!
4. Men Are As-Is Merchandise or Love ‘Em or Leave ‘Em, Baby!
5. If You Want Guarantees In Love, You Don’t Want Love

But it’s the last point here that really got me thinking. Most women go looking for love with an eye on the goal - commitment or marriage. But, in love there ARE no guarantees! And although we make lists of things we want in a man, no one can truly guarantee that the man you fall in love with will be anything like the one you imagine.

Because being in love means having to surrender completely, to be vulnerable to hurt, to pain, to heartache. It means being willing to live with uncertainty, with change, and loss. With the possibility that your feelings may never be reciprocated, or that you may lose the thing you cherish most.

It means facing your deepest fears, and doing the thing you fear most. It means being authentic, being willing to face rejection, giving up expectations of another person “meeting your needs”.

It means being willing to live in the moment, and accepting that it’s all we really have. And sometimes, it means being willing to let go of the relationship, if that’s what it takes, to keep the love you share.

After I lost my husband and companion of 18 years, I honestly began to wonder if it was all worth it. I asked myself, if I had to fall in love, be vulnerable, experience all the pain and the tears I experienced with and without him, would I do it all over again. And the answer most definitely is, yes!

Because there’s no life without love. Without the sharing, and the laughter, the precious moments we cherish more than money, success and achievement. And yes, there’s no love without the pain, conflict and loss that are part of any relationship.

If you want a relationship that has to be defined in words, or boundaries, or legalese. If you demand guarantees, if you can’t be happy just living in the moment and enjoying the person you’re with, it’s not love you’re looking for, but acceptance - from yourself, from family, friends and society.

Love may not be enough to make a marriage work. But it sure as hell makes life worth living.

Recommended Resources:

Make Every Man Want You More with Marie Forleo and Amy Waterman

This is a course for real women, women with minds and intellects, women who want to attract men without compromising their integrity. Marie and Amy have cleverly incorporated the concept of “living in the moment” or “living in the now” into their course.

Authors and thinkers from Eckhart Tolle to Wayne Dyer have discussed this concept widely, and now Marie and Amy have taken this concept and applied it to the dating world. Marie tell us how your irresistibility lies in this moment, because this is where life happens. It’s not about aiming towards creating happiness in your future; it is about making it happen in this moment. This is a course that teaches the philosophy of being fully engaged in your life, being fully awake, and conscious.

This course is a refreshing look at attracting men because it doesn’t start by trying to “fix” you. It doesn’t assume you are “broken,” but asks you to acknowledge your past, but not to be defined by it. Every moment you are in is said to be brand new, has never happened before, and will never happen again.

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