Self-Acceptance: The Soul Knows No Label
July 16th, 2007, 9:36 pm by Priya Florence Shah
Filed under Healing, Intuition, Empowering Women, Empathy, Self-Love, Buddhism, Self-Esteem, Karma, Law Of Attraction, Love, Self-Awareness, Ecology, Attitude, Self-Improvement, Spirituality, Relationships, Books, Personal Growth, Happiness, Wellness, Self Help, My Life, Thoughts
We humans love to label stuff. Perhaps we do this to understand our environment and ourselves better. In some fields, like biology, labels and classifications work, because they are based on a reductionistic approach and view life-forms as separate.
Most life-forms don’t care about being labelled. It doesn’t make a difference to them whether they’re called cephalopods or arthropods. But for humans, being labelled is judgmental and a display of prejudice.
Here are just a few of ways we use labels for ourselves and our fellow humans:
- Race (African, Asian, Caucasian)
- Religion (Christian, Hindu, Muslim, Jew)
- Country (Indian, Pakistani, British, American)
- Cultural (Eastern, Western)
- Gender (Male, Female)
- Skin colour (Fair, dark, white, black, brown)
- Looks (beautiful, ugly, plain)
- Body type (tall, short, thin, fat, obese)
- Income (rich, poor, upper class, lower class)
- Intelligence (genius, average, retard)
- Personality (Type A/B, depressed, borderline, psychotic, schizoid, ADHD)
- Profession (lawyer, accountant, doctor, writer, singer, actor)
- Marital status (married, single, divorced, widowed)
Psychologists and marketers love this sort of segmentation, because it helps them serve their clients in more effective ways.
The question I want to ask is - exactly how does it help to label ourselves according to the definitions above? Do we need a label in order to identify with the human race? Aren’t we doing ourselves and others an injustice when we label people we interact with?
The labels above are the more benign ones we use everyday. But labelling imposes huge limitations on us, especially when we learn them during our impressionable years (early childhood and our teenage years).
Labels such as kaali (dark) or “stupid”, or beliefs that the boy-child is more precious than the girl-child, have scarred the self-image of many innocent children, creating self-hate and insecurity as adults.
If you must label a child, do it in a positive way. Teach her to accept herself, show her that she is beautiful, and point out the features that make her unique and special.
As babies, we are born pure and untouched by prejudice. We learn segregation, racism, communalism, colour-consciousness, and other such bigoted views from our parents, community and society. We learn to react to the physicalities and personalities of others, rather than respond to their souls.
The soul knows no labels. It is neither male not female, black nor white. It has no race or religion. It is pure Spirit and knows it is one with the Universe. It is at a level where there are no distinctions or separate identities.
Labels, like the ones above, are imposed by the Ego (Personality). But at the level of the Higher Self (Soul), we are all the same, and there is no use for labels.
As evolving beings, we must learn to see each other at the soul level. And we can only do that when we learn to act from our Higher Self, when we treat ourselves and our fellow humans (since, on the soul level, we are all one) with compassion and acceptance.
But what of those who try to harm us?
Do not try to change them. Realise that they are only acting from their own fear and pain. Setting boundaries is a way of showing compassion and refusing to take on the pain of others. Everyone has their lessons to learn. When we take on the task of changing others, we are not doing them a favour, because they will never learn their lessons.
We do not have to tolerate unacceptable behaviour. Tolerance is something that has been sold to Indians for ages, under the guise of secularism. But tolerance is just suppressed resentment. And resentment is bound to erupt in hate at some point.
It is not tolerance, but acceptance we have to work towards. Acceptance based on the knowledge that we are not separate beings, but different parts of the same being. Non-acceptance of each other stems from non-acceptance of our self, and fear of our dark side.
Nowadays, when I notice myself being judgmental of others, I take a step back and look inside myself to see which part of me I am refusing to accept. I then make peace with that part of me, and learn to be compassionate with my own flaws.
From unconditional self-acceptance comes healing, and compassion and acceptance for others.
When we refuse to label ourselves as fat or thin, pretty or ugly, dark or fair, we will learn to see our true inner beauty. And, since our outer world is just a reflection of our inner world, the beauty within will be reflected in our lives and in our world.
Recommended Reading:
I am a great fan of Cheri Huber, a Zen teacher and author. In this audiobook she uses various guided meditations, exercises and reflections to help the listener get in touch with their deepest self and get a better understanding of their conditioned responses while learning self compassion.
Some of her other books that touch upon this subject are
Making a Change for Good: A Guide to Compassionate Self-Discipline
We are conditioned to think that if we were only a little better in some way, we would be happy. But, Huber says, no amount of self-punishment will ever make us happy or bring us control over life’s problems. The help we are looking for is really found in self-acceptance and kindness toward ourselves. Compassionate self-discipline € the will to take positive steps in life € is found through nothing other than being present.
There Is Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate
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This book reveals the origin of self-hate, how self-hate works, how to identify it, and how to go beyond it. It provides examples of some of the forms self-hate takes, including taking blame but not credit, holding grudges, and trying to be perfect, and explores the many facets of self-hate, including its role in addiction, the battering cycle, and the illusion of control. After addressing these factors, it illustrates how a meditation practice can be developed and practiced in efforts to free oneself from self-hating beliefs.
Transcendent Beauty: It Begins with a Single Choice…to Be!
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I am currently reading this book authored by Crystal Andrus - a woman who is beautiful, both inside and out. She shows us that while most people talk about attractiveness as being merely physical, true beauty definitely comes from the soul. She teaches you to let your inner beauty shine by becoming comfortable with who you are and taming your ego - that critical, fearful voice in your head.
See a selection of resources on Inner Child Healing
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One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all.
]]] from me to all of you!!




