Soul Kadee

How do you constructively deal with intuitive empathy? What practical methods can you employ to avoid becoming overamped or depleted? I’m going to present some strategies I use. Try them. See which appeal. One is not more preferable than another. Most important is if your choice works.

Walk away.

Let’s say you’re chatting with a man you’ve just met at a conference and your energy starts bottoming out. Here’s how to tell if you’re being zapped: Don’t hesitate to politely excuse yourself; move at least twenty feet from him (outside the range of his energy field). If you receive immediate relief, there’s your answer. Most people are oblivious to how their energy impacts others.

Even energy vampires — people who feed off your energy to compensate for a lack of their own — aren’t generally intending to sap you yet still they do. Obnoxious or meek, vampires come in all forms. Watch out for them. For years, reluctant to hurt anyone’s feelings, I needlessly endured these types of situations and suffered.

How many of us are so loathe to appear rude that a raving maniac can be right in our face, and still we don’t budge for fear of offending? Whenever possible — if your well-being feels at risk with an individual or group — give yourself permission to make a tactful and swift exit. In a spot, physically removing yourself is a sure quick solution.

Shield yourself.

A handy form of protection many people use, including healers with trying patients, involves visualizing an envelope of white light (or any color you feel imparts power) around your entire body. Think of it as a shield that blocks out negativity or physical discomfort but allows what’s positive to filter in.

For instance, your sister is on the rampage. She’s about to blow up; you don’t want her anger to shatter you. Now–take a deep breath, center yourself, engage your shield. Literally picture it forming a fail-safe barrier around you which deactivates anger. It simply can’t get to you. Shielding is a deliberately defensive technique aimed at guarding your feelings, not repressing them. It works by establishing a perimeter of protection around you that functionally doesn’t permit harm in.

Practice vulnerability.

One tenet of my spiritual practice is to remain as vulnerable as I can to everything; not to shield, the antithesis of defense. Some people prefer my strategy, some don’t. Use it if it succeeds for you. Here’s the premise (not madness) behind this: if we solidify our bond to our inner self, we’ll become centered enough not to need to defend at all. Thus, the best protection turns out to be no protection — a stance that initially alarmed me. It didn’t seem possible I could do hands-on energy work with someone who had cancer or depression, for example, without absorbing their symptoms myself. But it was.

What could be more liberating than to find I could hold my own and still remain open! Too often we’re taught to equate vulnerability with weakness. Not so. I like being vulnerable and also strong. This disarms people. To me, the appeal of such an approach is that it’s a non-fear-based way of living in the world. It requires that, increasingly, you harmonize with whatever you confront, let it flow through you, then recenter again, stabilized by your own resilience. Pace yourself. A vulnerable posture will feel safer the stronger you get. It is a choice and a life-long practice.

Meditate.

To cement your inner bond and hold your center in any situation, I recommend a daily practice of meditation where you focus on the spirit within. Doing so gets you into the habit of connecting with yourself. Start with a few minutes, then gradually increase the duration.

The technique is simple: follow your breath and explore the silence. It is not void or empty; that’s the mystery. As thoughts come, and they will, continue to refocus on your breath. Every inhalation. Every exhalation. The spaces between thoughts are where your spirit waits to be discovered. There is something real in there worth finding.

My spirit feels like a core of head-to-toe warmth vertically aligned though the center of my body. Imbued in the warmth itself is an intelligence and intuitive responsiveness to my rhythms and questions. It speaks only truth, which resonates like a chiming in every cell. Silently become acquainted with your spirit. You can return to it to reinforce who you really are–not just the self you present to the world, but that part of you that is timeless. Make room to pursue it.

© Copyright Judith Orloff, M.D.  All Rights Reserved.

Judith Orloff, M.D., an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at UCLA and intuition expert, is author of the new book Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life (Harmony Books, 2009) Her other bestsellers are     Positive Energy, Intuitive Healing, and Second Sight. Dr. Orloff synthesizes the pearls of traditional medicine with cutting edge knowledge of intuition and energy medicine. She passionately believes that the future of medicine involves integrating all this wisdom to achieve emotional freedom and total wellness.

FREE MINI VIDEO CLASSES ON YOUTUBE FOR YOU!
Please check out “Dr. Orloff’s Living Room Series” to find out more about the special method Dr. Orloff recommends to remember your dreams and other topics to build the power within. Stop by www.youtube.com/judithorloffmd anytime.

Popularity: 7% [?]

Whether you are in a relationship that has just begun or one that began decades ago, if you are not satisfied with the behaviors you are shown, simply change your response to those behaviors, and a reaction will result.

Your partner’s reaction will have to change to reflect the changes in your attitudes, your guidelines and boundaries.

All you can change is you.

All you can control and manipulate

is your own choice.

You can react to what you are shown,

or you can leave the source of discomfort in your life.

For as you change, as you grow, your reactions do as well. You break the cycle of dysfunction within a relationship when you choose to respond in a new, more highly evolved fashion.

When you love another, your communication of self-love is what allows the love to flow between you. Not a wall, not a game, not a punishment, not lashing out, not carrying on hysterically, but only love of self communicates what you see, feel, or observe to be beyond the boundary of what you will tolerate. When you whine, beg, plead, cry, yell, scream, throw, hit, or lash out, your actions do not deserve the respect you ultimately are entitled to.

But when you openly and calmly share anything that displeases you, anything that causes you to feel unvalued or unappreciated, then you have genuine communication. Then you have friendship, understanding, respect for each other’s feelings, and the integrity to preserve the good you have found. Build a new bridge of understanding over the turbulent waters of confusion and pain. Allow past hurts and pains to flow out of your system and out of the dynamic of your relationship by sharing truth honestly, deeply, and purely When you both do that, truth and understanding will replace chaos and pain.

Melting the walls that stand between you

Much of the discord couples experience comes from fear of exposing their true feelings – their love, fears, doubts, insecurities – their true selves. So they hide their truth behind ego, pride, defense mechanisms, stories, lies, and games instead of communicating authentically.

When you do this, it robs you of your own solid foundation, your feelings of strong self-worth, self-respect, and high self-esteem. When you are too afraid to expose the real you, then you play the games that destroy a genuine healthy relationship or romantic friendship. But as you heal and realize there is nothing so terrible to hide, you then begin to feel more secure to share your truth. As you do this, you reinforce your self-worth and, at the same time, you reinforce the relationship’s foundation with truth.

When two people love, they have a common ground from which to build a new foundation based on trust, mutual respect, and mutual understanding. Yet, there must be compromise. One cannot yield all the time. Satisfaction of needs, wants, requests, and desires must be reciprocal.

Think about the word “relationship.” Relate your concerns and feelings on the ship of your making, so you may travel together on a sea of understanding.

If you begin a relationship with a pre-set agenda, you will find that you are not being your real self. You act the way you think the other wants you to act. You toss aside many of your goals, interests, dreams, and aspirations because you think that doing so will allow you to “get” this man or this woman.

And in that process you steal the foundation of your truth, of your core, from your very self, and you prevent the other from knowing your inner beauty.

Like so many people, you may try to be perfect at the beginning of a relationship. You try to look your best, act your best, feel your best. But you leave out the most important ingredient: the real you, which is the best you. Like so many people, you think that if you showed the real you, your potential partner would surely run, leaving skid marks on the way.

What is so wrong or terrible with the real you?

Perfection is not exciting. It is boring.

If you always try to be perfect, you create discomfort with the other person and actually prevent the growth of true friendship and intimacy.

Where are her moods? Doesn’t he ever get angry? Does she always look so perfect? Doesn’t he ever have a bad day? Why can’t she show me she gets mad? Doesn’t he have any real feelings? Is she always so intellectual? Does he really have a heart? Where is it? How can I show my real self if he or she doesn’t do it too?

You see, when you both present your real and genuine selves to each other, you lay a solid foundation from which you can develop an honest and meaningful friendship or romance with one another.

You may know that many times people will test others to see what they will put up with, what they will tolerate. Testers want to find out how much they can get away with. They also want to know whether the testees have enough respect and regard for themselves to put the testers in their place if they cross the line.

Sometimes the one you date

wants to see that you have guts,

that you are not a spineless wimp,

that you do have self-respect,

that you will only tolerate being treated

with common decency and respect.

So, show it!

If others say something to you that strikes a Chord within, and you don’t like the feelings you are getting as a result of their words or actions, you must speak up and say so. Now.

You can say it gently and graciously,

but make sure that it is said.

By speaking up, you honor and preserve your self-esteem, your personal dignity. Others then know how you feel as a result of what they did or said, and they know what you are requesting of them; it then becomes their choice as to whether they will honor your personal boundaries.

Each person is entitled to all of his or her own beliefs, opinions, preferences, joys, and individuality.

You do not own others; they are not your property. You share your time or your life together. As you learned in nursery school, sharing is giving; it is not taking, and it is not demanding that another does it all your way.

© Copyright by Barbara Rose, All Rights Reserved. Excerpt from Individual Power: Reclaiming Your Core, Your Truth and Your Life. Published by The Rose Group (2003) ISBN: 097414570X

Barbara Rose, Ph.D. is the best selling author of nine books including If God Hears Me, I Want an Answer!, Stop Being the String Along: A Relationship Guide to Being THE ONE, and Know Yourself. She is an internationally recognized expert in personal transformation, relationships, consciousness and spiritual awakening, and a pioneering force in incorporating Higher Self Communication, the nondenominational study and integration of humanity’s God Nature into modern personal growth and spiritual evolution. Dr. Rose is known for providing life changing answers, quick practical coaching and deep spiritual wisdom to people worldwide as the Founder and Director of IHSC, Institute of Higher Self Communication. Her highly acclaimed books, public speaking events, spiritual intensives, teleseminars, webcasts, and internationally published articles have transformed the lives of thousands across the globe. Dr. Rose works in cooperation with some of the greatest spiritual leaders of our time, to uplift the spiritual consciousness of humanity.

Article Source

Popularity: 25% [?]

In the last few months I’ve been doing a lot of energy work, and made a number of breakthroughs in the meditation course I did with Leo.

But there were some emotions I hadn’t been willing to deal with, and I felt tied to the past with cords of residual anger, resentment and unforgiveness. I knew that, as long as I harboured these feelings, I would find it hard to make the progress I needed to make.

Meditation wasn’t helping release my emotions, and I knew that it was going to take nothing less than a paradigm change to change the way I felt about my past. A few days ago, I got my breakthrough, felt that change happen, and my entire resonance shifted to a much happier vibration.

What spurred this change was recalling a belief I have long harboured, about what new age teachers like Caroline Myss, call Sacred Contracts.

A Sacred Contract is an ancient notion that our souls enter into a kind of contract before birth, that we agree to have various human experiences, and even to encounter certain people in order to learn lessons. As Caroline Myss explains in this interview,

We make contracts before we incarnate. We make contracts that are directed toward our personal empowerment, toward the expansion of our hearts, and toward the expansion of our contribution to the group soul of humanity.

The contracts and negotiations your soul has made, form the texture of your life. You make arrangements for certain commitments, for opportunities to meet certain people, to be certain places, but what you do and how you are when you get there, that’s where choice comes in.

If you know the contracts you made before you were born, you will find it easier to discern your life’s purpose.

When you begin to see your life from this perspective, you realise that YOU CHOSE all the experiences you have had in this life, and all the people you have met are your “soul supporters” who agreed to play a role to help your personality and soul grow and expand in this lifetime.

So how does this understanding help you live a happier life? By helping us realise that everything is happening as it should, based on your thinking and the choices you make, as the article here notes. For me, the key to releasing the past was GRATITUDE.

When you look at your life without gratitude, you can’t appreciate how everything is trying to come together to get you to the next place. Realize every life has something special to offer and your real job is to figure that out.

We all have contracts to meet certain people in our lives. If you allow yourself to see how that person has helped you grow, you can learn about yourself and find the reason you were meant to know that person in the first place.

Seen in that light, there is really nothing you can feel but GRATITUDE, for all the experiences - good and bad, pleasant and unpleasant, loving and abusive - that you have gone through. And, in the instant that all your feelings of anger, resentment and unforgiveness are TRANSFORMED to Gratitude, you become FREE from the effects of the past.

Although I’ve always believed in Sacred Contracts, I had never really assimilated it into my life in this manner, perhaps because, on some level, my ego didn’t want to let go of wanting to be right. But, wanting to be right gives away my power, prevents me from taking responsibility for my life, and makes me a victim. And that’s not how I want to define myself EVER!

Wanting to be right creates anger and resentment, the very emotions that keep us bound in the past, and prevent us from healing. Harbouring resentment and refusing to forgive others is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die. Resentment, harboured over a long time, causes cancer, writes Louise Hay, in You Can Heal Your Body.

It was very empowering to realise that everything I have experienced is based on Sacred Contracts that I chose for myself, because it made me realise how futile it was to hold on my anger and resentment towards the people who hurt me. Especially when I know now, that they are my soul supporters - the ones I made a contract with to help me grow in this lifetime.

And now, when I look back at everything I have experienced in my life, I know that some of my most painful experiences were the most life-changing ones - the ones that helped me grow and learn to love and accept myself for who I am. The person I am today is because I went through each and every one of those experiences.

I know I’ve truly released my past when I can finally look back on EVERYTHING and EVERYONE in it with gratitude, and say, “Thanks for the memories.”

More about Sacred Contracts:

Sacred Contracts: Awakening Your Divine Potential

Myss espouses the ancient notion that our souls enter into a kind of contract before birth that we agree to have various human experiences and even to encounter certain people in order to learn lessons. The author includes a technique for arriving at 12 archetypes that rule different areas of our life from career to sex to our highest aspirations.

Secrets about Life Every Woman Should Know : Ten Principles for Total Emotional and Spiritual Fulfillment

I finished reading this book by Barbara de Angelis a while ago and I recommend that every woman read it. De Angelis incudes in the beginning of the book, a chapter on Sacred Contracts, which I think is very apt, because it helps us see our entire life through a very empowering perspective.

Popularity: 48% [?]

We humans love to label stuff. Perhaps we do this to understand our environment and ourselves better. In some fields, like biology, labels and classifications work, because they are based on a reductionistic approach and view life-forms as separate.

Most life-forms don’t care about being labelled. It doesn’t make a difference to them whether they’re called cephalopods or arthropods. But for humans, being labelled is judgmental and a display of prejudice.

Here are just a few of ways we use labels for ourselves and our fellow humans:

• Race (African, Asian, Caucasian)
• Religion (Christian, Hindu, Muslim, Jew)
• Country (Indian, Pakistani, British, American)
• Cultural (Eastern, Western)
• Gender (Male, Female)
• Skin colour (Fair, dark, white, black, brown)
• Looks (beautiful, ugly, plain)
• Body type (tall, short, thin, fat, obese)
• Income (rich, poor, upper class, lower class)
• Intelligence (genius, average, retard)
• Personality (Type A/B, depressed, borderline, psychotic, schizoid, ADHD)
• Profession (lawyer, accountant, doctor, writer, singer, actor)
• Marital status (married, single, divorced, widowed)

Psychologists and marketers love this sort of segmentation, because it helps them serve their clients in more effective ways.

The question I want to ask is - exactly how does it help to label ourselves according to the definitions above? Do we need a label in order to identify with the human race? Aren’t we doing ourselves and others an injustice when we label people we interact with?

The labels above are the more benign ones we use everyday. But labelling imposes huge limitations on us, especially when we learn them during our impressionable years (early childhood and our teenage years).

Labels such as kaali (dark) or “stupid”, or beliefs that the boy-child is more precious than the girl-child, have scarred the self-image of many innocent children, creating self-hate and insecurity as adults.

If you must label a child, do it in a positive way. Teach her to accept herself, show her that she is beautiful, and point out the features that make her unique and special.

As babies, we are born pure and untouched by prejudice. We learn segregation, racism, communalism, colour-consciousness, and other such bigoted views from our parents, community and society. We learn to react to the physicalities and personalities of others, rather than respond to their souls.

The soul knows no labels. It is neither male not female, black nor white. It has no race or religion. It is pure Spirit and knows it is one with the Universe. It is at a level where there are no distinctions or separate identities.

Labels, like the ones above, are imposed by the Ego (Personality). But at the level of the Higher Self (Soul), we are all the same, and there is no use for labels.

As evolving beings, we must learn to see each other at the soul level. And we can only do that when we learn to act from our Higher Self, when we treat ourselves and our fellow humans (since, on the soul level, we are all one) with compassion and acceptance.

But what of those who try to harm us?

Do not try to change them. Realise that they are only acting from their own fear and pain. Setting boundaries is a way of showing compassion and refusing to take on the pain of others. Everyone has their lessons to learn. When we take on the task of changing others, we are not doing them a favour, because they will never learn their lessons.

We do not have to tolerate unacceptable behaviour. Tolerance is something that has been sold to Indians for ages, under the guise of secularism. But tolerance is just suppressed resentment. And resentment is bound to erupt in hate at some point.

It is not tolerance, but acceptance we have to work towards. Acceptance based on the knowledge that we are not separate beings, but different parts of the same being. Non-acceptance of each other stems from non-acceptance of our self, and fear of our dark side.

Nowadays, when I notice myself being judgmental of others, I take a step back and look inside myself to see which part of me I am refusing to accept. I then make peace with that part of me, and learn to be compassionate with my own flaws.

From unconditional self-acceptance comes healing, and compassion and acceptance for others.

When we refuse to label ourselves as fat or thin, pretty or ugly, dark or fair, we will learn to see our true inner beauty. And, since our outer world is just a reflection of our inner world, the beauty within will be reflected in our lives and in our world.

Recommended Reading:

Unconditional Self Acceptance

I am a great fan of Cheri Huber, a Zen teacher and author. In this audiobook she uses various guided meditations, exercises and reflections to help the listener get in touch with their deepest self and get a better understanding of their conditioned responses while learning self compassion.

Some of her other books that touch upon this subject are

Making a Change for Good: A Guide to Compassionate Self-Discipline

We are conditioned to think that if we were only a little better in some way, we would be happy. But, Huber says, no amount of self-punishment will ever make us happy or bring us control over life’s problems. The help we are looking for is really found in self-acceptance and kindness toward ourselves. Compassionate self-discipline € the will to take positive steps in life € is found through nothing other than being present.

There Is Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate

This book reveals the origin of self-hate, how self-hate works, how to identify it, and how to go beyond it. It provides examples of some of the forms self-hate takes, including taking blame but not credit, holding grudges, and trying to be perfect, and explores the many facets of self-hate, including its role in addiction, the battering cycle, and the illusion of control. After addressing these factors, it illustrates how a meditation practice can be developed and practiced in efforts to free oneself from self-hating beliefs.

Transcendent Beauty: It Begins with a Single Choice…to Be!

I am currently reading this book authored by Crystal Andrus - a woman who is beautiful, both inside and out. She shows us that while most people talk about attractiveness as being merely physical, true beauty definitely comes from the soul. She teaches you to let your inner beauty shine by becoming comfortable with who you are and taming your ego - that critical, fearful voice in your head.

See a selection of resources on Inner Child Healing

Popularity: 38% [?]

I’m a big believer in energy medicine, and have been using meditation and reiki for the last year, to heal myself in mind, body and spirit. In my desire to treat my body as my temple, I eliminated, from my diet, foods that I believed were not good for me. I programmed my mind so strongly against junk food, that my body now rejects it.

In the last year, I lost over 25 pounds of extra flab. Meditation, inner work, and a healthier diet helped a great deal. But the main reason I lost that load rather easily (with little or no exercise) was because I decided that the weight no longer served me.

We women don’t realise how much of our weight gain is emotional. And I don’t mean only because of overeating (although that does affect many women), because I’m a rather poor eater.

People tend to put on weight when they’re stressed, depressed or ill. With women especially, low self-esteem tends to lead to a vicious cycle where we put on weight, stop caring about the way we look, which causes us to put on even more weight.

Fact is, when you’re stressed out, perhaps suffering from low self-esteem, or have a lot of negativity in your life, your body goes into starvation-mode and tends to store weight. For sensitive people, fat actually acts as a buffer against negative energy.

Intuitive healer, Judith Orloff, M.D, explains the energetic premise of obesity, in her book, “Positive Energy: Ten Extraordinary Prescriptions for Transforming Fatigue, Stress, and Fear Into Vibrance, Strength, and Love“.

One big reason that many diets fail is that traditional weight loss programs don’t factor in how we process subtle energy, what Chinese medicine terms life force or chi. Subtle energy penetrates and surrounds the body.

Sensitive people who I call intuitive empaths unknowingly overeat in response to being overwhelmed by negative vibes. Empaths not only can sense energy around them, they absorb it into their bodies.

Here’s the energetic premise of obesity: When empaths are thin, they have less padding and are more vulnerable to soaking up negative vibes. For instance, early twentieth-century faith healers were renowned for being grossly obese to avoid absorbing their patient’s symptoms — a common trap I’ve seen modern-day healers also unconsciously fall into; food is a convenient grounding device.

Similarly, many of my patients pack on pounds to protect against overwhelming vibes, massive or minute. Energy is at the root of an empath’s hunger. Whether your sensitivity to negative vibes is minimal or intense, for a diet to succeed, it’s important to develop alternative coping strategies other than overeating.

Although I don’t eat to ground myself, my body still tended to store fat when I was stressed out or depressed. Once I learned how to use meditation to ground myself, the fat fell away easily.

Find Your “Why” And The “How” Will Follow

I come from a family that encouraged music, rather than athletics. Except for the occasional stint in the gym, I never took physical fitness seriously. Over the years, I tried a few ignorant and misguided attempts at working out. One of those ended in collapse from over training, so I was very wary of starting any new workout program.

Besides, I loved my curves and had no desire to look like a skinny supermodel. But, accepting your body is one thing. Denying your poor health is another. The emotional and health challenges of the last few years had taken their toll on my body, and I found it difficult to build chi, beyond a point, for the purpose of healing.

Building chi energy requires muscle strength and excellent blood circulation. As a healer and lightworker, my less-than-adequate fitness levels were an obstacle to my spiritual growth. Also, as a woman over 35, I knew that I would soon start losing lean muscle and bone mass, if I didn’t take steps to preserve it. To boost my healing abilities, and preserve my quality of life, I simply had to get serious about my fitness goals.

I read that the best way to build strength is with weights or resistance training. So, I began my education in fitness and strength training with Jon Benson’s Fit Over 40, an inspiring ebook that features a number of amazing role models who overcame disability, age, and other serious health challenges, to achieve levels of fitness most of us can only dream of.

Especially awe-inspiring was the story of a 77-year old grandmother, who also happens to be a champion bodybuilder!

Bodybuilding And The Law of Attraction

Personally, I have no intention of participating in bodybuilding contests, but I did realise, that bodybuilders are actually some of the best role models for manifesting abundance.

Not only are they highly focused and motivated, they are also familiar with many techniques (including creative visualisation), taught by spiritual gurus and Law of Attraction teachers, to achieve their dream bodies. My favourite fitness gurus are Tom Venuto, Jon Benson and Will Brink.

I learned a lot about manifestation from Jon’s Fit Over 40 book, where he describes very creative ways to use visualisation to manifest goals. Jon talks about the need to get rid of limiting beliefs, and heal the spirit before we can heal our bodies. He recently started the M-Power Inner Circle to help people achieve the life of their dreams.

I don’t believe we can consider physical fitness in isolation from financial, emotional or spiritual fitness. A healthy mind, healthy body, healthy finances, and a healthy spirit are like spokes in the wheel of abundance. If either one of these spokes is weak, the wheel is in danger of collapsing.

Why Vijay Mallya Is NOT The “Richard Branson Of India”

Like Jon, I believe that a person who is deficient in even one of these areas is not truly a success and is not expressing her full potential. That’s why it irritates me to hear Indians comparing Dr. Vijay Mallya with Sir Richard Branson. Sure, Dr. Mallya, has the wealth, the flamboyance and the lifestyle. But you only have to take one look at him to see that, physically, the man is a wreck.

I believe overall fitness levels are a good indicator of a person’s emotional set-point. You know something is not quite right, when a person who can afford to employ the world’s best fitness professionals, doesn’t care enough to take care of his own body.

For me, Dr. Mallya is simply not a patch on the athletic Sir Branson. I have nothing against Dr. Mallya personally, but a role model for success, he is not!

You are only given one body. Take care of your body and it will take care of you. A month ago, I didn’t even know what a Rep was. Today I work out in the gym thrice a week, and on other days practice T’ai Chi and Pilates. If I can’t work out for a day or so, I really miss the endorphins. Believe me, they can be pretty addictive.

Resources: Free bodybuilding and weight loss ebooks

Popularity: 34% [?]

Since I started on my path of personal and spiritual growth over a year ago, my life has changed in so many ways. I’ve been transformed physically, emotionally and spiritually. I learned new ways of thinking, feeling and being that I never had access to earlier.

As I started treating my body as my temple, I became more sensitive to the messages it sent me about what I ate and how I exercised. I lost the desire to eat many of the foods I used to enjoy. I found myself unable to tolerate junk food €œ which meant no more KFC or McDonalds - and became intolerant to anything cooked with too much spice or oil.

I eliminated coffee, red meat and alcohol from my diet. I still enjoy my tea and the occasional need to indulge my sweet tooth, but my diet now largely consists of fruit, cereals and eggs.

As I responded to my body’s needs, it reciprocated by losing all the pounds I’d piled on after pregnancy, and I regained my health and energy levels. On an emotional level, I dealt with insecurities, fear, grief, anger, and worked through many issues that were holding me back.

A lot of physical issues, like weight gain and skin conditions, resolved themselves once I got rid of my emotional baggage. It just proved to me how deeply connected our emotions are to physical dis-ease, a fact which Louise Hay explains so well in her book, Heal Your Body.

On a spiritual level, I learned to raise my vibration, to heal myself, and others. As I began to listen to messages from my inner self, my insights and intuition improved. I learned mindfulness, self-love and self-acceptance. Loneliness ceased to be an issue when I learned to cultivate a strong connection with myself, and the Divine.

At the risk of being labelled eccentric, I no longer think it selfish or unnatural when I prefer my own company - or that of a few good friends - over the mindless socialising that others seem to enjoy. I prefer solitary, mind-enhancing pursuits, like reading a good book or watching a movie or meditating, to hanging out in noisy places, like pubs or discos.

I feel calmer and more at peace with myself today. I’m learning now to align with my higher self, and respond from love, rather than fear and ego. I don’t expect life to be smooth, but know my new perspective will help me handle anything it throws at me with grace and optimism.

Despite it’s considerable benefits, the path of growth was often scary, and not always smooth and painless. In order to grow, we have to let go of things, and people, that have comforted and given us security all our lives.

We have to step out of our comfort zones, face our fears, take risks, try new things and follow our heart, even when those closest to us are unable to support or believe in us. To reach where I am today, I had to let go of a lot of things that no longer served me €œ old beliefs, values, lifestyles and relationships.

Discomfort with old ways of being, is part of the process of spiritual growth, explains Faith Lynella in her ebook, Aspirin for the Spiritual Hangover. She writes

Each leap up the vibration scale brings access to that level’s priorities and worldview. When your vibration rate increases, it’s harder to relate to the frequency you left behind - its people, interests, and beliefs. You have less and less in common with them.

As people vibrate at a higher level, they attract different people and circumstances to them. Those relationships out of alignment fall away. The basis for relationships will be defined by each person’s energy levels.

I found that sometimes old habits fell away easily and relationships ended painlessly. At other times, it was much harder and I had to make a conscious effort to let go. Often, my fears took me two steps forward and one step back. But I came to realise that, in order to gain something new, you have to let go of the old. That’s the way the universe works.

The key to surviving my spiritual hangover was learning new skills and attitudes, like acceptance of the process, and learning to let go of control and resistance. Surrender doesn’t come easy to a control freak like me, and I resisted change many times €œ with painful consequences.

It’s not all gloomy, however, because as you raise your vibration and let go of things that no longer serve you, you also begin to attract into your life people and circumstances that support the New You.

And, like a caterpillar that transforms into a butterfly, once you’ve reached a higher plane of existence, there’s no way you’ll ever be able to go back to where you came from.

Popularity: 22% [?]

Women often tend to ignore their own financial well-being, allowing the men in their lives - fathers, husbands or brothers - to take decisions for them. It’s ok to turn to more informed people for financial advice, but neglecting to understand your financial rights and options can get you in a big mess.

When I found myself single again, I was forced to start taking decisions that, until then, I had left to my late husband. Since he passed away suddenly and neglected to take out an insurance policy, I had to take that decision immediately, for the sake of my little daughter’s future.

The burden of handling property and legal matters fell to me, and though I handled it well, I wish I’d taken more interest in such things when my husband was alive. Drawing from my own experience, the focus of the current issue of Naaree.com is on Property Rights for women, the topic of a seminar held recently in Mumbai.

We also carry features on Insurance and Investments for Indian women, besides our usual columns on dating, diet and wellness.

Check out the new articles on Naaree.com below:

Property Rights and Women
According to the amended Hindu Succession Act women have equal rights in parental property. Despite this, women are still denied their propery rights in modern India, reports Pallavi Bhattacharya.

Insurance Options For Indian Women
Whether it is life, health or property, as women, we tend to rely on others to make these judgments for us. But insurance is and essential tool to secure a financially happy future for ourselves and our loved ones.

Investment Tools For Women
While more and more women are pursuing high powered careers and becoming an inherent and valuable part of workforce, few, however, are aware of how to make themselves financially secure. Kinnary Nensee shows you how the right investments can make all the difference.

Domestic Violence (Physical and Emotional Abuse): Questions to Ask
There are common indicators of potential physical abusers. Instead of negating what others tell you and your thoughts, you need to stop and look at your partner’s actions. Answer the following questions about your partner and your relationship.

Tolerating Abuse: How Much Is Enough?
It seems that for the average Indian family izzat is more important than a daughter. How much can we take and what is our limit when it comes to abuse, asks Khushboo Aulakh.

Tai Chi For Women
Relaxation, mood stabilising, weight loss, age control and self-defence - an adept Tai Chi practitioner can develop all of them. And aren’t these the very things every woman wants to acquire? Tai Chi, an internal martial art developed on thousands of years of Chinese history and culture is now taught and practised in India.

Dating Dish: Why ‘Perfect’ Men Are Dangerous
It’s human nature to get swept up in the whirlwind of excitement of a new romance, especially in the beginning. But the truth is, the only way that a *real* relationship can emerge is by giving it time to develop in a healthy way, advises our dating coach, Paige Parker.

Dark Circles Puffy Eyes: Easy Natural Remedies
Dark circles and puffy eyes are one of the most frequently asked how-to-cure skin care related questions. Our beauty columnist, Angela Purcell, author of Magical Skincare Kingdom, recommends natural ways you can dramatically reduce, if not eliminate them.

Grab the Wheel: How to Get in the Driving Seat of Your Life
Are you truly in the driving seat of your life, or are you carting around a back-seat driver, or a mini-bus load of little voices with big desires? If there’s someone reaching over to turn your wheel it may be time to get assertive about what you want in your life and where you want to go.

Happy reading!

Popularity: 16% [?]

It’s been a little over a year since I discovered healing with energy medicine and I thought it was about time I devoted a new blog to this topic.

I will now be posting all new information on energy healing and auras on the new Energy Medicine blog. Check out the articles I posted there today:

• Aura Photography: Healing Your Energy Body
• Are You An Energy Vampire?

Popularity: 12% [?]

Sensitives are often unknowingly affected by the energy, emotions, and desires of others. This can be both confusing and overstimulating because we are unable to distinguish whether we’re operating from our own center or someone else’s. I believe that it’s critically important for sensitive souls to learn how to protect themselves and to clear away the energy and emotions of other people.

One key aspect is setting good boundaries. Many of us get into trouble when we try to take care of other people first. Often this comes at the cost of our own wellbeing. I believe this is due, in part, to our empathic nature. We easily see and feel what others need and want, so it’s easy to get confused about “what’s mine, what’s yours.”

An important first step in establishing healthy boundaries is learning to let go of taking responsibility for other people’s lives, desires, and emotional responses. It helps me to focus on the spiritual truth that people are on the right and perfect path for themselves, even when they are “clearly not.”

What I mean when I say this is that if, to my eye or ego-self, people seem to be making huge mistakes or are in desperate need of rescuing, I take a spiritual step back. I remind myself that this may be exactly the personal challenge that the person needs to fully attain their own soul purpose or to learn their life lessons. And, most importantly, that my interference just may prevent that achievement.

My teacher, Sonia Choquette, says: “Ultimately, an overly empathic heart may be a vote of no-confidence in those you love and care about.”

This is a good reminder to honor the ability that those around us have to take care of themselves. What we can do, instead, is focus on taking care of our own lives and modeling that for other people. By being responsible for yourself, you create a safe space for others to discover their own power.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t assist others. But it does mean that it’s worth getting their permission or their request for assistance first. Then, see if you can focus on helping them to discover their own solutions — that’s true empowerment. I’m reminded of the old saying that if you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day; but if you teach him to fish, he’ll eat for a lifetime.

Don’t rescue, don’t overly identify. Do stay in your power, model empowerment by caring for yourself, and support others to do the same.

Copyright July 2005, Jennifer K. Avery

Jenna Avery, the Life Coach for Sensitive Souls, offers an original coaching program designed to guide highly sensitive souls to a deep sense of inner rightness, so they are inspired to step forward and shine. You’re invited to visit her website at www.highlysensitivesouls.com to take her free online assessment, “Is Your Sensitivity Working For You?”

Popularity: 11% [?]

I love Christine Akiteng’s advice on relationships, and enjoyed reading her ebook and all the great dating articles she sends out in her newsletter. I also loved how she opened up and shared how she got rid of her own destructive dating patterns in the article, Confessions Of Every Man’s “Dream Woman”.

Reading it gave me a sense of deja vu actually, because I recognised so many of my own behaviours in that article. For the last couple of years, I’ve been a lot like that low-maintainance woman that men love. Never possessive or jealous, open, honest, non-judgmental, extremely independent - and terrified of commitment.

I realised, however, that something about this didn’t feel right, and that it wasn’t attracting the right kind of men into my life. I knew I needed to become more discerning and picky about the men I dated.

Like Christine, in my last relationship, I tended to blow hot and cold. As soon as it showed signs of getting serious, I would freak out (like a man) and bail out, only to return after much reflection, and realisation that I was reacting to my own fears of intimacy.

I did, however, become honest about my fears and patterns, and started doing the inner work I needed to clear them. My relationship did not survive the personal changes I went through, but it helped me heal and grow so much, and left me with such beautiful memories, that I’ll know I’ll always be good friends with my ex.

I’ve lots more work to do, but I give myself credit for making a great deal of progress in becoming aware of and healing my destructive patterns. With that in mind, I thought this excellent article of Christine’s would be really apt to share with you here.

20 Signs You Are Free From Your Destructive Relationship Pattern

Following my article; How Do You Make The Pain Go Away - Letting Go Obsessing About Him/Her, I’ve been flooded with emails from men and women asking me to explain exactly what learning and moving on entails.

Most people seem to recognize that there is definitely a self-destructive pattern in their relationships, a pattern they are stuck in. A few of them have been working to break free from their destructive patterns but now ask, How do I know I’ve moved on?”

A person who has overcome his/her pattern of negative bonding” is profoundly different from what he/she was before:

1. You accept yourself fully (as you are now) even while wanting to change parts of yourself.

2. You take full responsibility for your own behaviour, own choices and own life.

3. You do not adapt yourself to try and fit into uncomfortable” situations and relationships.

4. You recognize that you’re a worthy person and your fulfillment is as important as anyone else.

5. You are in touch with your feelings, needs and desires and do not need a man/woman to bring out the fully expressive, creative and affectionate you. You do that with yourself and get a real kick out of it.

6. You are taking risks; meeting new and different people and learning more of what life wants to teach you about yourself through others.

7. You are freed from the overwhelming responsibility of fixing others. No one has to change in order for you to feel good or get on with the business of living.

8. You are less needy, less worried, less anxious, less angry, less irritable, less hostile, less forceful, less submissive, less confrontational, less selfish and self-destructive.

9. You are more realistic in your expectations of yourself and of others. You no longer pressurize others for more of what they don’t have (time, closeness, sensitivity, romance, fidelity, material stuff etc.) or give him/her too much of what he/she does not necessarily want and then become angered and hurt when he/she does not seem to appreciate it.

10. You are more able to relax and enjoy yourself and others more. This frees others to relax and enjoy themselves around you.

11. You’ve let go playing games: calculating, manipulating, putting on a great big spectacular show of loving” him/her, the chasing and running away. You are more relaxed and honest, and let the rest take care of itself.

12. You are pursuing your interests, hobbies and dreams.

13. You have a circle of supportive friends and family while at the same time avoiding dysfunctional relationships and energy drainers - people who sabotage your growth by wanting you to remain the same so that they can remain the same.

14. You trust more and can more comfortably let down your protection against being really hurt and allow a man/woman to see and love you for who you really are.

15. You no longer use your sexuality as a tool to control intimacy and relationships. You now allow yourself to be sexual as away of deepening your knowledge of each other.

16. You allow yourself to be loved because you already love yourself. If there is lots of love already in there, it is much easier to receive and accept love that comes from outside of you.

17. You know that a good relationship takes work and time to grow and are willing to put in effort and time but at the same time know when to let go if it’s not working - to let go without experiencing disabling depression.

18. You don’t need to find a partner who is the opposite of you to bring balance into your life. Instead you ask, Does this relationship enable me grow into all I am capable of being?”

19. You’ve learned to live your life without all the stress” and time-consuming and energy draining dramas of heated battles, begging, angry outbursts, parting and reconciling.

20. What once felt normal and familiar feels uncomfortable, awkward and unhealthy. When everything in you wants to take over, to advice and encourage, use praise to raise” his/her self-esteem, or criticism to manipulate him/her, you easily hold yourself from responding in the old ways.

Some people have worked through their negative bonding” patterns without any therapy or professional help, but a majority of people have tried so hard and none of their best efforts have worked in the long run. This is because often the situation is worse than they allow themselves to admit; they are too proud to ask for help; they make a half-attempted effort just until the pain of the break-up is gone.

Working to let go off old patterns of relating is a better alternative to pining for your last love and waiting for your next heart break. None of this is easy, but it is exactly what has to happen. This may be the first time in your life that you’ve regarded yourself truly important and worthy of your own attention and nurturing.

About the Author: Christine Akiteng is an internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of eBook: The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullnessâ„¢. Her unique approach to dating has helped hundreds create positive, constructive, honest and fulfilling relationships.

Article Source

Popularity: 13% [?]