Soul Kadee

I’m a huge fan of the folks at Meditations for Women, and religiously read the inspiring and empowering “One Minute Meditations for Women” they send to my inbox everyday.

“One Minute Meditations for Women” is a FREE daily email subscription of very powerful and moving motivational and inspirational quotes written especially for women.

They make a difference in women’s lives all around the world everyday. They’ve helped me begin my day with thought provoking, soothing and uplifting words and cheerfully embrace the challenges that every new day brings.

So, it’s no surprise that I’ve just teamed up with them to bring you my favourite series of free one minute meditations that will inspire, motivate and simply bring fulfillment to your life.

“Daily Meditations for Women” talks about the challenges women face, relating to:

• Self-Esteem and Confidence
• Balancing responsibilities
• Breaking destructive habits
• Overcoming obstacles
• Letting go of doubt
• Building life long friendships
• Achieving goals
• Freedom from fear
• Loving Relationships
• And much, much more

Click here to receive your Daily Meditation For Women and while you’re there, check out their Supreme Self Esteem for Women program.

Popularity: 6% [?]

Problems cannot be solved
at the same level of awareness that created them.
- Albert Einstein

The Law of Attraction teaches that, to change your circumstances, you must change the way you think and feel. To attract something or someone into your life, you must raise your vibrational frequency to match that of the object you desire.

So how DO you raise your vibration? Simply by choosing experiences that raise your emotional set point, or as the teachers call it, following your bliss. As Sherry Binkelman explains in her article, Raising Your Vibration,

The influences upon which we focus our attention or thoughts are those that determine or define our vibration. Negative vibrations are associated with the lower chakras, with what we consider to be “negative” emotions or feelings, including hatred, anger, doubt, fear (of loss, lack, failure) jealousy, envy, judgment, (both judgment of others and self-judgment) impatience, disharmony, imbalance, insecurity. Positive vibrations are those such as love, harmony, peace, balance, kindness, understanding, compassion. Our vibration attracts to us experiences of like vibration, and also attracts to us people who are of the same vibrational frequency.

Many LOA books, including the ones by Abraham-Hicks, offer processes (22, no less) to raise your vibration to one of optimism and joy, at which point you start to manifest your desires.

It’s really not as complicated as it seems. Instinctively, we all know what we need to feel good. But, blissing out doesn’t mean using drugs, alcohol or prescription meds as uppers. That’s just a way of avoiding your issues, and will ultimately land you in rehab.

Following your bliss is about CHOOSING to be happy, choosing to be in a state of joy and love, as much as possible. It’s about doing work that you’re passionate about, being with people who help you grow and thrive, and choosing experiences that take you to a higher place.

Here’s a list of my personal favourite ways to raise my vibration. Perhaps you can relate to some of them, too.

1. Solitude: This is essential for me, because as an introvert, highly sensitive person, empath, being around people for too long drains me and makes me very crabby. I really need my space, and my time alone helps me recharge my batteries.

2. Reading a good book: As a child, my only escape from the reality of my unhappy existence was to create a fantasy world (helped a great deal by the creations of Enid Blyton, Richmal Crompton, Hans Christian Anderson, the Grimm brothers and Robert Louis Stevenson) of heroes, pirates, detectives and dragon-slayers. I spent my entire childhood daydreaming and visualising - valuable skills that I now make full use of, since they work so well in manifestation. In recent times, I’ve become a fan of audiobooks, as well, because they help me absorb information much faster. Besides providing fodder for my fertile imagination, books have introduced me to the thoughts and ideas of great men and women, and helped me learn many lessons without having to experience them for myself.

3. Meditation, Affirmations, Energy work: The reason I talk about these methods so much is because my life changed a great deal since I started using them. They helped me tune into my emotional guidance system, and my inner guidance, and start making better choices based on my intuition. I use meditation everyday for grounding and clearing my energy, and affirmations to keep my thoughts happy and positive. I just completed a meditation course with my healer, Leo, and we worked on a lot of issues, cleared up a lot of emotional baggage. And it didn’t take years of painful therapy, just 10-sessions of Leo’s powerful healing techniques (will write more about them soon). Meditation and other energy work, like Reiki (I just completed the second level), have helped me heal emotional blocks and childhood scars, which prevented me from attracting the things I desire into my life.

4. Music: Born in a family of musicians, jazz, blues and classical music on the old 48 rpm were a staple diet in our home. One of my favourite memories is of my Grandpa, Martin, entertaining us with his old ragtime numbers on our piano. Another fun family outing was visiting the theatre (we didn’t have DVDs back then) to see a Hollywood musical. I still enjoy musicals and Disney movies. Music can make me smile, laugh, even cry (though I avoid that as much as possible). It’s something I can plug into anytime, anywhere. Definitely one of my best uppers.

5. Dancing: If you’re Goan (or married to one), you can’t escape the old Latin numbers, the waltzes, the cha-chas, and the Mexican shuffle that’s a must at every wedding. Is it any wonder that Goans are happy people? In fact, I love dancing so much, I took a salsa class, and every so often, put on a CD of Latin music, or J. Lo, and groove to the beat with complete abandon. Next on my list are belly dancing and flamenco classes.

6. Exercise: This is one thing I really need to get more of. There’s nothing like a good workout, whether it involves aerobics, yoga or, my personal favourite, Tai Chi, to boost my mood. Endorphins apart, just getting off my ass and stretching my muscles can raise my vibration a few notches.

7. Laughter: I believe that laughter is one of the most spiritual things in the world. A good belly laugh makes you forget all your woes, and lifts your vibration like nothing else. Reading silly jokes forwarded by email, listening to funny stories, watching reruns of Mr. Bean, Friends, Will and Grace, Frasier, and of course, a little Leno, is a great way to wrap up the day with happy feelings.

8. A good movie: Barring horror movies, the sad ones (like Mira Nair’s Water, which, though great cinema, was horribly depressing) and the gruesome ones, I can enjoy a good movie anytime, anywhere. I loved The Pursuit of Happyness, because it ended on a happy note (even though I used up a whole tissue in the first half). I could actually feel the energy rise in the theatre when the main protagonist achieves his goal after so much hardship. I thoroughly enjoyed Dreamgirls and Shall We Dance, for the music and dance. I especially enjoy fantasy, like Bridge To Terabithia, which I must say, made a remarkably strong case for using your imagination to create your own reality. I make it a point to go see a movie (or catch one on the telly) at least once a week. It gives me a good feeling that lasts for days on end. Here’s a little something for you. Download this feel-good (and free) movie, The Secret To You, and watch it daily. It’s slickly produced, a delight to watch and will raise your vibration instantly. You’ll find more free stuff for good vibes here.

9. A long, hot bath: Who doesn’t love a long, hot bath? That must be, like, a universal upper. Just give me a tub, hot water, and some bubble bath, and I’m in heaven.

10. Getting a massage: My favourite way (though a bit expensive, at Rs 800 a pop for an experienced masseuse) to de-stress and relax. Having someone knead my tired muscles is instant bliss.

11. Being a mom: My little girl really IS the best upper a mom could ever have (when she isn’t testing my patience, that is). Watching her grow, admiring her sweet face when she’s sleeping (or is that my relief showing?), taking her on a holiday for two, listening to her child-like wisdom, sharing her joy when she learns a new tune on the piano, gets a certificate for academic achievement, or a new Barbie or game - these are some of the most memorable moments of my life. It reminds me of a line from the movie Hitch, where Will Smith’s character says, Life is not how many breaths you take, it’s how many moments take your breath away.

12. Being with people I love: I’m the kind of person who has very few close friends, some whom I’ve known since my college days. But they’re very special to me, and I make it a point to maintain these friendships, and spend quality time in the company of these special people who nurture me.

13. Watching a sunset: In a concrete jungle like Mumbai, there’s really very little of Mother Nature left to commune with. Watching the sunset at Marine Drive is the closest someone like me can get to enjoy the glory of Creation. Unless, of course, I’m holidaying in Goa.

14. Being creative: Expressing your creativity is a wonderful way of raising your vibration. Creative expression, whether in the form of art, writing, sculpture, pottery, design, or even being more creative in the workplace, is very therapeutic because it puts us in alignment with our desires. My favourite way of expressing my creativity are, writing this blog, creating new websites, and coming up with new ideas to promote them.

15. Making someone smile: Nothing compares to that wonderful feeling of joy, when you know you’ve made a difference in someone’s life. It’s then that you know your life has meaning, and that you’re in alignment with your life purpose. I’m lucky to have been blessed with many such moments, and thank the Creator for all of them.

16. Gratitude: Being thankful reminds me of another of my favourite ways to raise my vibration - and one recommended by all the LOA teachers. Spending some time everyday, appreciating and being grateful for the abundance €œ of love, wealth and joy €œ in my life, and realising how privileged I am to have all these things, never fails to bring me joy. In all my dealings with people, there are two phrases that I make it a point to use as often as possible. They are Please and Thank you. No matter how tiny the gesture, I try never to take people and their generosity for granted. And trust that they will accord me the same treatment.

17. Being good to myself: LOA teachers all agree that self-love is the first step to raising your vibe. You can’t attract anything good unless you feel good about yourself. There was a time in my life when I engaged in negative self-talk, was very harsh on myself, and put everyone else’s feelings before my own. I had a hard time saying no and allowed people to take advantage of my generosity. Today, I take care of my feelings, am learning to set stronger boundaries, say No when I need to, and love and accept myself the way I am. As Sherry explains, Loving oneself is a wonderful way to raise one’s vibration, because each thought or act of self love sends out a vibration of love to the Universe, adding to the Light.

18. Making love: Oooh yeah!

So how many of these did you relate to? And which methods do you use to raise your vibration? Do share, so we can all benefit from your experience.

Popularity: 19% [?]

Meditation can improve your health, increase energy levels and maximize your enjoyment of life. Without a doubt, more people would benefit from meditation if they took the time to practice the simple exercises used to calm the mind, reduce stress and increase energy levels.

So What Is Meditation?
======================

Meditation is a way to transform and heal ourselves. When we meditate, we allow the swirl of ideas and thoughts to slow down to the point where we find a calm and positive connection with ourselves. Although there are many different ways to meditate, all styles teach the directing of the attention in order to re-connect with the part of yourself that is most real and most true.

Why We Need To Meditate
=======================

Unfortunately, we do not walk through the world as children do. We all face difficult and stressful situations throughout the course of life. But rather than beginning each day afresh, we tend to gather the world and carry the negativity of the past with us. The happy and contented person you were becomes covered over by these emotions. Suddenly you feel unhappy and dissatisfied, and even worse; often the process is so subtle, you don’t know why.

Meditation is a way of cutting through those layers of past emotion and excessive thinking. Instead of our minds and bodies being at the mercy of life, we take back control. We focus the attention in a deliberate way, and slowly see the false layers of ourselves begin to dissolve as we return once again to the source of our happiness.

Although meditation is an ancient art dating back thousands of years, modern scientific research now confirms what ancient wisdom discovered long ago. Study after study shows that meditation brings about improved perception, focus, memory and creativity. Regular meditators are healthier, happier, more relaxed, and more productive.

The True Purpose of Meditation
==============================

The seductive appeal of mystic visions, psychic intuition and heightened mental functioning can be very alluring. While some meditators report esoteric experiences, the experiences themselves should not be the primary reason for practice.

The purpose of meditation is to transform the state of our hearts and minds and bring us back to ourselves. As we become healthier, happier and realize greater self-awareness, more benefits begin to follow naturally — improved mental functioning, greater intuition as well as greater access to unconscious resources and abilities.

The Best Style of Meditation
============================

Always keep an open mind in your learning. Never accept a teaching without verifying the truth of it in your own experience. On the other hand, reserve making judgment in advance of having the experience for yourself.

The best style of meditation is the one that feels right for you. There are many different systems of meditation including, but not limited to Concentration, Mindfulness, Zen, Visualization and Devotion. You may decide to experiment with a few different styles and see how they feel. Find one or two styles that you like and then major in those. Above all, pay attention to your self and make sure your meditation feels right for you.

Make Meditation A Daily Practice
================================

You can be stronger in your self. You can be happier, more balanced and compassionate. You can manifest the changes you truly want to see in your life through meditation. You don’t need to give up all your worldly passions or retreat to a Himalayan monastery either!

A daily ten-minute practice can make all the difference. It’s not much time to dedicate when you consider all the time spent caring for your physical appearance. After all, you wouldn’t go out to an important meeting or social occasion without clean clothes and brushing your teeth.

What about the mind and body — the instruments through which we perceive and interact with reality? Does it not make sense to take the time to clean up our attitude and the way we feel as well?

Copyright Matt Clarkson, Author of Secrets of Meditation, Energy and Manifestation . Want to learn how to quiet the mind, super-charge your energy level and manifest what you truly desire in your life? Remember, this article is only a tiny sampling of what’s waiting for you inside Secrets of Meditation, Energy and Manifestation.

Popularity: 8% [?]

Do you feel overwhelmed and at odds with your life? Does it seem like your mind rambles incessantly, as if you can never experience a moment of peace? Many people in our modern world describe their lives as frenzied and imbalanced. The good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way.

Many Asian cultures have understood something for the past several thousand years that modern people are gradually beginning to discover: That we have to learn how to work with our minds in a conscious and healthy way if we are to attract peace, abundance, and joy into our lives.

Without a consistent method of cultivating awareness, we will be forever resigned to circumstances that feel out of our control. That is why so many modern people are struggling. We have lost the ancient practice of connecting our inner world of thoughts, feelings, and energy with our outer world of the circumstances we attract into our lives.

Because of this, everything that appears seems to be random. We lose trust in the unfolding of the universe. As a result, our minds are filled with anxiety and worry, which only attracts more seeming chaos and confusion into our lives. Does this sound familiar?

The law of attraction states that what you focus on expands. If your thoughts and feelings resonate with anxiety and confusion, then you will attract more of those qualites to you through your relationships, work, finances, etc. The key is not to trick our minds into creating positive thoughts through affirmations or other methods, but to develop space around the workings of our minds altogether. Herein lies the magic of mindfulness meditation.

Mindfulness is a method of becoming acutely aware of everything that happens within the scope of our perception. We shed light on what we think, feel, and sense. We make conscious all of the subconscious material that typically sabotages our good intentions. We don’t try to change it. Instead, we just become extremely aware of it.

We do this by sitting still and doing nothing but watching how our mind works without attachment or judgment. We just sit and witness what takes place within us and we start to draw parallels between what we believe to be true and what we are constantly attracting into our lives.

Many people, particulalry Westerners, try meditation for a period of time and then give up after getting frustrated with the process. This is because we are always looking for results. We are deeply attached to our expectations of what should happen. Most of us try to use meditation to shut our minds down, to dwell in a space of ‘no thought.’ If you try to use meditation to stop thinking, you are in for a rude surprise. You simply cannot do it. In fact, the harder you try to stop thinking, the louder and more obnoxious your thoughts become. This is not the way.

The main intention of mindfulness is to be fundamentally OK with whatever arises as you practice. Whether you have a good thought or a bad thought, you give it the same attention. You remain neutral. By doing this, you stop feeding the energy of your thoughts. This is the first step in cutting through the vicious cycle of thought-feeling-reaction that keeps so many of us habitually attracting the wrong kinds of energy, people, and circumstances into our lives.

If we believe what we think, the energy of the thought will evolve into a feeling. The momentum of the feeling will cause us to react to it, which will create a cause in the world that will always lead to an effect. The effect will always be a reflection of that initial thought impulse. So, if your thoughts are habitually centered around negativity, greed, fear, or narcissism, then the effects you will see in your life will mirror this back to you.

Mindfulness is a process of becoming truly proactive for the first time in your life. Most of the time, we are just reacting to what we think and feel, which brings us endless cycles of conflict and disappointment. When we remain neutral to our thoughts and feelings, then we will gradually make contact with an aspect of ourselves that is spontaneous and awake.

We will act (not react) from this place. We will attract what we truly desire into our lives based on a conscious process of heightening our senses. And, yes, at some point the mind does slow down. We experience wonderful and refreshing moments of peace and openness. The universe is naturally seen as a benevolent place.

Instead of our typical attempts to outsmart the universe, mindfulness is a humbling process of surrender and gratitude.

Cultivate space, endless space, around your thoughts and feelings. Allow your spirit to inhabit your body fully. Don’t buy into self-defeating storylines and beliefs. Don’t try to force yourself to see the positive in life or repeat useless affirmations that you have no innate connection with.

Instead, taste the perfection of this moment as it is. If you can feel in your bones that you are fundamentally OK and that life is precious, you will attract much more meaningful relationships with people, better health, more fulfilling work and more prosperity on all levels of being. That is the power of mindfulness.

Kevin Doherty, L.Ac., MS is a licensed acupuncturist in private practice in Superior, Co. where he teaches many of his patients how to meditate for better health and overall life balance. To learn more about Kevin and his approach to meditation, go to http://www.mindfulnesscd.net

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Popularity: 8% [?]

All that we are is a result of what we have thought
- Buddha

Everyone these days seems to be talking about the Law Of Attraction (LOA) - the principle that you attract into your life whatever you think about.

To explain it in simple, idiot-proof terms:

• Thoughts are energy - they are as real as sound, light and gravity.
• Thoughts create vibrations, the way a pebble creates ripples in a lake.
• Every thought has a frequency. Thoughts send out a magnetic energy.
• Positive thoughts vibrate at a higher frequency than negative ones.
• Your thoughts attract the circumstances of your life like a magnet.
• What you focus on, expands
• If you think about what you don’t want, you only end up attracting more of the same.
• Everything you currently have in your life, YOU have created, the good and the bad - that’s a fact!
• If you are not controlling what you think about, you are creating your life by default.
• When you focus your thoughts on what you DO want, you are applying the principle of Deliberate Creation.
• Your emotions (intuition, gut feelings) are your guidance system - they tell you if what you are attracting is right for you or not.
• You can change your vibrations by changing the way you feel.

Even before I learned about the Law Of Attraction, I understood that we consciously attract people and events into our lives that match our “wavelength.” I knew that, to attract the mate of my dreams, I must become the person I want to attract. (work in progress)

But it’s through the books and audios produced by Jerry and Esther Hicks (who first presented the powerful basics of the original Teachings of Abraham), that I’m beginning to understand how to use and apply the Law of Attraction to create exactly what I desire.

Their books, Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires and The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent: Living the Art of Allowing, provide an excellent introduction to the LOA.

They include a great deal of advice on working with energy and emotions, as well as specific chapters on increasing prosperity, reclaiming health, working with meditation, and clearing clutter for clarity (sounds like something my feng shui practioner would recommend). They also offer 22 processes that you can use to raise your vibration and invite anything you want to attract into your life.

I also bought all three of their Sara books (for my daughter, Sara, of course), and plan to read them to her at bedtime. I believe these are essential life skills that every parent should practice, and teach their kids.

Because I love their materials so much, I was rather surprised and disappointed when I learned that the original creators didn’t feature in the slickly produced and somewhat over-hyped production, The Secret (DVD), that was based on their work, and recently featured on both, the Oprah Winfrey and Larry King shows.

But then I read this letter from them that sort of explains why. And though I know, from their books, what beautiful people Jerry and Esther are, I’m still amazed at their generosity, understanding and willingness to let go of their intellectual rights.

There are four steps involved in Deliberate Creation:

1. Identify what you DON’T want: Get clear on what about your current life does not serve you
2. Identify what you DO want: Visualise the kind of life you wish to create
3. Get into the feeling place of your want: Raise your vibration and feel the emotions you will feel when you have that life. Believe you already have it.
4. Intend and allow it to happen: Get out of your own way and allow the Universe to take over and do what is in your Highest Good.

Abraham-Hicks teach us that Well-Being is our natural state of being. The reason we do not have what we want - health, abundance, wealth, joy - is because we are blocking the flow of energy that creates well-being.

We create obstacles to well-being with our:

• Lack of belief: Negative beliefs, defeatist attitudes, pessimism and expecting the worst only attracts more negativity into your life
• Lack of self-love: Failing to love, respect and value yourself. Refusing to believe that you deserve the best life has to offer, will keep your dream life firmly out of your reach.
• Lack of trust: Not trusting your intuition, your emotional guidance system, will prevent you from knowing which experiences serve you and which do not.
• Lack of gratitude: Learning to appreciating the abundance you already possess will attract more of it into your life.
• Lack of detachment: Being too attached to the outcome, trying to control the result of your creation, and refusing to allow the Universe to decide the outcome that is in your best interest, will keep you from receiving what it has to offer you (even if it is better than what you visualised for yourself).

I come across new books and audios almost every day, that claim to show how to use the LOA and the principle of Deliberate Creation in everyday life, to get whatever you desire - love, wealth, abundance, joy.

The most useful LOA resources offer techniques to help you raise your emotional set point and help you go from from negative emotions, like fear and despair, to positive ones like joy and happiness.

When you raise your vibrational frequency (through meditation, music, or whatever works for you), and eliminate negative beliefs and emotions that block your ability to receive what the Universe is sending your way (techniques like NLP, EFT, Hypnosis work very well), you can truly create anything you desire.

To raise your vibration right now, watch the beautiful “I Create Reality” movie by Christopher Westra. Do show it to your kids and anyone else you think of.

Law Of Attraction Resources:

Besides the resources above, here are some I own and will be reviewing shortly:

Wealth Beyond Reason: This course by Bob Doyle teaches you the principles of the LOA and gives you specific techniques to rid yourself of negative emotions, and an Experiential Meditation to help you visualise what you desire.

The Secret Of Deliberate Creation: This comprehensive course by Robert Anthony has loads of resources and comes highly recommended.

Sleep And Profit: Get the Think and Grow Rich audios, as well as a number of subliminal audios and practices to clear your mind of negative beliefs about wealth and money.

Sandra Anne Taylor’s books: As a counselor in private psychological practice, Sandra Anne Taylor’s techniques will help you clear negative vibrations and invite in the positive.

Popularity: 14% [?]

What do mind power masters and quantum physicists have in common? They both know that our observation and perspective frames our reality.

Werner Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle demonstrated that on a subatomic level, the observer, by the choices he made, influenced the outcome of a physics experiment.

For the first time it was recognized that the observer and the act of observing were inseparable from what was observed.

What is “out there,” as incredible as it seems, depends upon our judgments, beliefs, viewpoints and perspectives. We project our reality as much as we experience it.

So if your outer world is merely a reflection of your inner world, does what you think and believe actually create your reality? Indeed, it does!

We know that thoughts are vibrations or energy and that negative thought patterns create a negative outcome, while positive thought patterns create a positive outcome. As the article here states:

Everything in the universe has a unique vibrational energy. Every object, every being, every thought, every action. Your physical body in its healthy state has a specific rate of vibration. When you are sick your vibrational rate changes and you are no longer in balance with your true nature.

Your thoughts vibrate at their own rate. A positive thought makes you feel better than a negative thought. That good feeling is the result of a change in vibrations. You may not feel the changes as vibrations, you simply feel better.

Alternative healers and practitioners of Energy Medicine have long known that negative or limiting beliefs can make us ill, and that changing our interpretation of our experiences can actually change our reality.

There’s a rational reason why complainers and pessimists only attract more misery, and why a positive attitude and optimistic outlook on life can improve a health condition, create prosperity and literally transform your existence. As the site here states so beautifully,

You are a causality of your beliefs and fears. Whatever you believe, you become. Whatever you fear, you manifest. You need to know and practice being true to yourself in order to reach your full potential.

Consciousness is the reality of your universe. You chose your reality from within fundamental truth or misconceptions. Your external being or personality is constructed by your inner life and spiritual standards. Disease and suffering are manifestations of your inner ill being.

In contrast, you possess the ability to invoke healing or elimination of all pain and suffering by your inner well-being. The key is to focus on each limitation one by one, in a focused sequential manner.

In healing my own health condition (lupus), which traditional medicine describes as incurable, I turned to a number of alternative healing methods and tools.

It was Louise Hay’s book, You Can Heal Your Life, that first introduced me to the link between thought patterns and disease. I highly recommend it if you have a health condition that you need to heal.

My friend, Leo Velloz, then introduced me to meditation as a tool to heal my body and mind. You can contact him at Holistic Studio.

I’ve also been learning Reiki and Tai chi and have just started reading Quantum-Touch: The Power to Heal, which is supposed to be even more powerful. All these methods work on the same principle to clear energy channels for the creative flow of life and to restore healthy balance.

A few days ago, I came across a website called the Healing Codes. It’s principles seem to be based on pretty much the same ideas above, but it promotes a powerful healing technique that claims to take just 8 minutes to heal illness. If you’re in the healing profession, you should definitely listen to the free Healing Codes teleseminar here.

Did this post help you? Do write in and let me know.

Popularity: 8% [?]

There’s a Hole In My Soul
That’s been killing me forever
It’s a place where a garden never grows
There’s a Hole In My Soul
Yeah, I should have known better
‘Cause your love’s like a thorn without a rose
from Hole In My Soul by Aerosmith

One of the reasons I stopped writing about codependence is because I’ve consciously chosen not to focus on it anymore. I know that “what you focus on grows”, and that the most important step to changing any behaviour is self-awareness and self-acceptance.

But I’ve also come to realise that, most people are addicts, in one way or another. And that addiction is not a physical or a psychological disease, but a disconnection from Source energy (God, the Force, a Higher Power) and from our Higher Selves.

When we’re disconnected from our higher selves (the source of love and higher emotions), we look for something outside of ourselves to fill that hole in our soul. This attachment or craving (not desire, as is popularly believed) is also noted in Buddhism as the cause of suffering.

And so we turn to people, relationships, sex, food, alcohol, drugs, meditation, prayer, caffeine, cigarettes, television, music, work, exercise, shopping, gambling, internet usage, pornography and other ways to bliss out, just so that we don’t have to face the fact that we’ve disconnected from our life path and from the purpose that we came here to fulfil.

That’s why all programs for recovery from addiction, like the 12-step program, mandate a reconnection with a Higher Power as essential for recovery.

But, you might say, almost all of the things I’ve listed above (barring TV, internet, pornography and stimulants) are necessary for existence. So how do you know when something becomes an addiction?

The easiest way to know this is to CHECK YOUR INTENTIONS. Be honest with yourself about why you believe you need it. If TV is merely a distraction, if you use food only to nourish your body, if you turn to people and relationships merely to stay connected, you are most likely not addicted to these things.

Another way to test if you’re addicted to something is to GO WITHOUT IT. If you can easily do without it for a while, especially under stressful circumstances, you are most likely not addicted.

But if you compulsively do any of the following - overeat, get drunk, smoke, gamble, take drugs, cling to relationships and people, exercise too much, watch too much p0rn or do anything to bliss out - you may be using it to fill that hole in your soul, to mask your disconnection from the true nature of your being.

If that’s so, then you need to rediscover your life purpose and reconnect with Source, by doing the psychological and spiritual work you need to become whole again. Some of the attitudes that helped me heal are:

• Self-awareness: Becoming an observer of my emotions and reactions
• Self-love: Knowing that I am worthy of love, that it has to come from within me. Learning how to develop high self-esteem and stronger boundaries.
• Self-acceptance: Learning to accept my flaws and forgive myself for my mistakes.
• Detachment: Detaching from a situation so I can respond appropriately.
• Overcoming my fears: Learning to act from Love (Higher Self) rather than Fear (Ego)

Check out these resources on dealing with addiction and connecting to higher self.

Popularity: 7% [?]

If you’ve ever travelled by airplane (and I’m sure most of you have), you’ll know that there’s a good reason why the stewardess instructs you to first put on your own oxygen mask, before helping the passenger next to you. Its because you can’t take care of anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself first.

Yet, a lot of us women forget this essential truth, especially when we become mothers and wives. Once we have that little baby in our arms we act like we don’t matter any more, like she’s the only thing that matters. I know, I felt like that when my daughter was born.

As it happened, my late husband and I were also going through a period of financial and emotional stress at that time, so in my desire to contribute to the family finances, I started taking my internet business very seriously, spending many hours a day at the computer, often with my baby sleeping in my lap.

Like most new moms, I hardly slept or ate properly. I let myself go, allowing my own needs to come last. As a result of neglecting myself, my physical and emotional well-being suffered so badly that about four years ago I was diagnosed with systemic lupus erythematosus, a chronic autoimmune disease in which the immune system becomes hyperactive and attacks normal tissue.

For some reason lupus seems to be more active in women of child-bearing age, after they’ve had a baby. There is usually a genetic predisposition, which is why not all women get it. But I think the reason it manifests is because we tend to neglect our own needs after the baby is born.

My illness was a wake-up call for me. I realised that if I wanted to be around to see my daughter grow up, I better start taking good care of myself. I read humongous volumes of literature on lupus and learned how it can be controlled, even reversed, with diet, exercise, alternative therapies and a healthy lifestyle.

I started taking the best supplements (write to me if you want to know which ones), following a healthy diet, learned meditation and yoga, and became serious about losing weight and getting fit. I also dealt with my own emotional and self-esteem issues and learned to be happy and content, no matter what.

It was really my emotional and spiritual transformation that made the most difference to my health. Because ultimately the tendency to neglect ourselves, put the well-being of others before our own, and stop caring for the way we look and feel is just a manifestation of poor emotional health, false beliefs and low self-esteem.

As a lightworker, I discovered my own healing abilities. I now believe that I chose my illness so I could learn the lesson of self-love and unconditional self-acceptance in this lifetime.

Whether you subscribe to that theory or not, my new beliefs actually empowered me to make the changes I needed to make, and to realign with my life goals and vision. It also inspired me to start Naaree.com - a new portal to help women rediscover and nurture their inner beauty and strength.

Dealing with my emotional issues helped me realise that I had to love myself first, before I could love another. That I had to feel good about myself, before I could treat others with kindness and compassion. And that I had to take care of my own health and well-being, before I could take care of another person.

These realisations gave me the incentive to start working out and eating a healthier diet. I lost 24 pounds, cleared up a skin condition, and can honestly say that I look and feel many years younger than I am today.

Through holistic methods of healing, I put my lupus almost completely into remission. I avoid negative influences (TV, news, gossip, pessimists, complainers) and choose to associate myself only with positive people and influences.

I invested in better clothes, manicures and pedicures, waxes, massages, good makeup and cosmetics. I even took a course in image and grooming, and learned to feel like a million bucks.

I never wait for a man to ask me out. Instead, I take myself out often and treat myself to dinner and a movie. I no longer feel guilty about letting my retired parents take over most of my childcare duties because I’d rather spend quality time with my daughter than be preoccupied with work when she’s around.

I no longer think it selfish to take time out for myself, doing things that nurture my spirit. I know now that these are not luxuries, but essentials. And that by doing them, I’m enhancing my ability to give of myself to others.

I realised that simply becoming aware of my issues was not enough. Positive action is essential on the road to recovery. Because every time you take action, even make a tiny effort to nurture yourself, you are telling your subconscious mind that you are worth the effort. And that, in turn, will enhance your self-esteem.

It took a life-threatening condition to make me see the light. To realise that I’m worth taking care of, that I deserve to love and care for myself. Don’t let that happen to you. Especially if you’re a new mother. If nothing else, at least do it for your child’s sake.

And if you’re in a new relationship, or looking to get into a relationship, here’s one last reason why you need to start believing that you’re an amazing, gorgeous creature, and that you’re so totally worth the time, effort (and money, if necessary) it takes to look and feel your best.

The reason is that it will help you attract and keep a great guy. One with high self-esteem, who treats you like the goddess you are. Remember that men are visual creatures. And even if you’ve been married for decades, making the effort to look good for your man will send him the message that you think he’s worth looking good for - and that’ll improve your marriage too.

Please don’t say that you’re too busy and have no time. Those are just excuses. We always make time for the things we truly believe in and really want to do. So all you have to do is start believing that you NEED to do these things for yourself.

Because, to paraphrase the (cliched, but true) advertising slogan, “Baby, you’re SO worth it!”

Recommended Reading:

Inner Bonding: Becoming a Loving Adult to Your Inner Child
I’ve recommended this powerful book by Margaret Paul many times. It greatly helped me heal my emotional and self-esteem issues and helped me make choices that nurture and heal me.

Loving Yourself: Four Steps to a Happier You
This tiny, yet powerful book by Daphne Rose Kingma will help you get in touch with your own needs and reasons for loving and nurturing yourself.

The Girl’s Guide to Loving Yourself: A Book About Falling in Love With the One Person Who Matters Most..You
Am planning to order this book soon, since it talks about a lot of the stuff I discussed in this post. According to the review, the book “offers that extra boost of self-esteem you need to walk into a crowded room feeling confident, and to stand in front of a bedroom mirror feeling satisfied. It is the perfect mixture of wisdom, guidance, inspiration, and laughter you need to fall head over heels in love with the one person who matters most… you.” Cute!

Loving Yourself More: 101 Meditations for Women
I have my own set of spiritual practices and meditations to help me affirm my worth, but if you’re looking for some advice on this, you might find it here.

The Lightworker’s Way: Awakening Your Spiritual Power to Know and Heal
I am currently reading and enjoying this book by Doreen Virtue so much that I find it hard to put down. A wonderful account a lightworker’s journey to discovering her powers to heal herself and others. If you’re into spirituality or healing, it’s definitely worth reading.

The Path to Love: Spiritual Strategies for Healing
Beautiful book by Deepak Chopra shows you how to experience unconditional love for yourself and others.

Popularity: 12% [?]

In between stocking up on sunscreen, packing suitcases and drying my daughter’s tears over her missing ducky swimsuit, I just thought I’d share with you a lovely post from my friend, Gopal, before I leave for my vacation in Goa.

It has so many ways to improve your life, many of which I’ve learned only in recent years. And I hope it gets your New Year off to a great start!

1. Never put yourself last.
2. When you extend a helping hand to one person, be careful not to kick someone else in the teeth.
3. Always own a pair of old, faded jeans.
4. Count your blessings every day.
5. Acknowledge your successes along with your downfalls.
6. Burn the candle that has been in storage for the last two years.
7. Strive for progress, not perfection.
8. Remember, the voice telling you that you cannot do something is always lying.
9. At least once a day sit and do nothing.
10. Don’t close your heart so tightly against life’s pain that you shut out life’s blessings.
11. Celebrate all your birthdays no matter how old you get.
12. Examine your life for limitations and ask yourself why you put them there.
13. Plant a tree, pull weeds, or get your hands dirty.
14. Diminish your wants instead of increasing your needs.
15. Cry when you feel like it.
16. Rejoice in other people’s triumphs.
17. Don’t wait for someone else to laugh or express joy.
18. Forgive yourself for any mistake you make, no matter how big or small.
19. Keep good company.
20. Never take a pill for a pain you need to feel.
21. Use your enthusiasm to put yourself in forward gear and give yourself a spark to move ahead.
22. Look in the eyes of the ones you love when you are talking to them.
23. Remember that one is a whole number.
24. Walk in a summer rain shower without an umbrella.
25. Do a kind deed for someone else.
26. Keep your eyes and ears open to get the messages you need from people and events in your daily life.
27. Be patient.
28. Eat something green.
29. Change what you can and leave the rest alone.
30. Walk hand and hand with truth.
31. Make laughter and joy a greater part of your life than anger and grief.
32. Embrace solitude instead of running from it.
33. Be zealous, not jealous.
34. Forgive anyone you’ve been holding a grudge against.
35. Slow down and enjoy the present.
36. Walk in others’ shoes before judging them.
37. Send yourself a kind message.
38. Remind yourself that the company you keep is a reflection of what you think of yourself.
39. Go on a picnic.
40. Accept your fears, no matter how crazy they seem.
41. Don’t let other people’s opinions shape who you are.
42. Say a prayer.
43. Never attribute your accomplishments to luck or chance.
44. Know when to say no.
45. Look at the positive side of negative situation.
46. Remember that you are a spiritual being in a physical body.
47. Avoid seeking out other people for constant approval, because it makes them the master and you the slave.
48. Go fly a kite.
49. Avoid fads and bandwagons.
50. Accept the things you cannot change.
51. Look inside instead of outside yourself for answers to life’s problems.
52. Remember that all feelings are okay.
53. Shield yourself from bad influences.
54. Stand up for what you believe in.
55. Respect the wishes of others when they say no.
56. Seize every moment and live it fully.
57. Give away or sell anything you haven’t used in the past five years.
58. Never downgrade yourself.
59. Take responsibility for what you think, feel and do.
60. Pamper yourself.
61. Never say or do anything abusive to a child.
62. Let yourself be God powered instead of flying solo.
63. Volunteer to help someone in need.
64. Refrain from overindulging in food, drink and work.
65. Finish unfinished business.
66. Be spontaneous.
67. Find a constructive outlet for your anger.
68. Think about abundance instead of lack, because whatever you think
about expands.
69. Think of yourself as the creator of your life, not a victim of circumstances.
70. Cuddle an animal.
71. Be open to life.
72. See success as something you already have, not something you must attain.
73. Experience the splendor and awe of a sunset.
74. When you score a base hit, don’t wish it were a home run.
75. Learn to be in the present moment.
76. Instead of believing in miracles, depend on them.
77. Take a child to the circus.
78. Change your attitude and your whole life will change.
79. Never turn your power over to another person.
80. When your heart is at odds with your head, follow your heart.
81. Always remember that the past is gone forever and the future never comes.
82. Live your life according to what is right for you.
83. Acknowledge your imperfections.
84. Plant a tree and watch it grow.
85. See “friend” instead of “enemy” on the face of strangers.
86. Watch an army of ants build their houses and cities and carry food ten times their weight.
87. Believe in something bigger than yourself.
88. Let the playful child within you come out.
89. Make haste slowly.
90. Work through your problems step by step and one day at a time.
91. Accept compliments from others so you can see the truth about yourself.
92. Sit on the lawn without worrying about grass stains.
93. Don’t condemn yourself for your imperfections.
94. Do a humility check periodically by loving the truth about yourself.
95. Tell someone you appreciate them.
96. Never live your life according to what is right for someone else.
97. Talk less and listen more.
98. Admit your wrongdoing and forgive yourself for it.
99. Thrive on inner peace instead of on crises.
100. Affirm all the good things about yourself.
101. Give your loved one a friendly massage.
102. Give all your friends a hug as soon as possible

Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year 2007!

Popularity: 6% [?]

We are spiritual beings having a human experience. But what does spirituality mean to you? Only you can answer that.

To me, being spiritual is not about believing in some esoteric philosophy that 90% of the world cannot access or understand.

Spirituality does not come from a holy book. It is not a complex set of ideas only meant for monks and priests. It’s not about following rituals or having beliefs that exclude other cultures or communities.

The kind of spirituality I believe in is the kind I practice in everyday life. The thoughts I think, the words I speak, the actions I choose, the way I conduct myself when alone or with others, the work I do, the choices I make - the little things I do every day of my life.

To me, all these things are an expression of spirituality:

• Eating food
• Bathing
• Nurturing myself
• Making love
• Expressing gratitude for the abundance in my life
• Expressing love to myself and others
• Setting goals or intentions for my life
• Sharing belly-laughs with a special friend
• Giving a massage
• Watching a sunset
• Being a mother
• Reading a book
• Watching a movie
• Listening to music
• Singing
• Dancing
• Exercising
• Meditating
• Taking a walk
• Planting a tree
• Writing this blog

The information at Heal Past Lives has a lot of concepts that resonate with my own ideas of spirituality. This article, titled Hallmarks of the Spiritually Advanced Being, has a list of 12 simple standards to measure your level of spiritual advancement.

• #1: LOVE - The Spiritually Advanced are models of unconditional LOVE
• #2: JOY - The Spiritually Advanced find JOY in every moment
• #3: TRUTH - The Spiritually Advanced are seekers after TRUTH
• #4: COURAGE - The Spiritually Advanced draw strength from COURAGE
• #5: TRUST - The Spiritually Advanced TRUST unconditionally
• #6: PURPOSE - The Spiritually Advanced are living their PURPOSE in life
• #7: ABUNDANCE - The Spiritually Advanced manifest ABUNDANCE
• #8: CLARITY - The Spiritually Advanced are CLEAR channels for God
• #9: SIMPLICITY - The Spiritually Advanced unfold in SIMPLICITY
• #10: GENTLENESS - The Spiritually Advanced act with GENTLENESS
• #11: GRATITUDE - The Spiritually Advanced are always GRATEFUL
• #12: BALANCE - The Spiritually Advanced maintain BALANCE in living

So how many of these qualities do YOU possess?

Popularity: 4% [?]